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Monthly Archives: July 2014

I Pity the Souls that Darkness Takes

We are mortal men pretending to be gods. A bit of power in our direction, and we suddenly are gods. How far have we fallen that we choose to believe in the darkness and know it’s darkness, than in the light where we can truly see?

I pity the souls that darkness takes,
The silent screams of utter hate.
Those words of false wisdom that fills my ears,
They say, “Listen, listen, listen here!

“Take no heed for this Christian God,
I know he’s false, you retard!
It’s all just lies, this Bible you read,
Why do you continue to believe?

“They step on the freedoms of women everywhere.
No talking in church, no disobeying us men here.
We are men and proud, so let us lead,
You are women, following us is where you’ll be.

“Don’t eat pork. Nothing unclean should touch you.
Follow the Sabbaths. Obey all of God’s rules.
Work six days, and rest on the seventh,
Be good and earn your way into heaven.

“How do you believe in something so false?
Only fools like you are truly lost!
Follow our way, for we are enlightened,
Come with us, have your minds brightened.

“We know because we have seen with our own eyes,
This God of yours is a complete lie.
We have dark magic we’ll share with you,
Listen to us. Listen to the truth.

“We are powerful and we hold this world together,
Keeping out all sorts of nasty creatures.
You do not know of our heavy burden,
Come with us and help us hold up the curtain.

“The veil! The veil! Help us to not let it fall.
Nasty wicked creatures wants to rule us all.
Leave your false Christian roots and forsake the lie,
I am the truth. I am the way. With me, you will never die.”

The darkness lies and blinds all in its shadows,
Making people arrogant and stubborn assholes.
Yet God is great and He forgives,
If people will humble themselves and choose to live.

The end is not yet, but it is near,
All with eyes to see and ears to hear,
Remember the truth that most deny,
God is King and in Christ is our ally.

I pity the souls that darkness takes,
Filled with so much pain and utter hate.
For a love they need that can only be fulfilled,
By God who created them according to His will.

Sad are the broken people with contrite hearts,
Arrogant, bitter, and angry, trying to keep God apart.
We mortal men who desire to be gods on earth,
Remember the tale told from our birth,

He is King alone in Heaven above,
He sent His son to die for us out of love.
So humble yourselves now and ask Him to forgive,
Let Jesus cleanse your sins, and in Him, live.

 
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Posted by on July 7, 2014 in Diary, Poetry

 

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Dust and Ashes

(When eight-year old Zahid’s father dies in the throes of the Sudanese civil war, Zahid must save his best friend, ten-year old Maleek, from the rebel Red Army who kidnaps children and trains them to fight and die for the army’s cause.)

The day that my father died was also the day that I met my best friend Maleek. I wasn’t there at the place where they killed him. I was too busy getting into trouble, even when my father specifically told me to stay inside. I didn’t obey him. He wouldn’t have known and so I sneaked out of the apartment we shared and ran down to the market to buy some sweets. That was where I met Maleek. He was two years older than me, ten, and he had skin so black I thought it hurt to touch him. We had been running around for most of the day, two dirty kids laughing and playing in the middle of the market, as happy as we could’ve been. There wasn’t much to be happy about it those days. I didn’t like the place my father and I had come to or the people here. I didn’t remember being happy much after we arrived here.

My father, General Hamad Assain, divorced my mother when I was still a child. I remembered nothing of her, but I found a picture of a beautiful woman hidden in some of my mother’s belongings. She had dark hair and very pale skin. Her eyes were a soft green and she smiled. I have her eyes, the same shade of summer leaves on the sparse trees that grew around the apartment complex where we used to live. Years later, I heard rumors that told me a different story. The rumors said that my father didn’t really divorce my mother. My mother was said to have been having an affair with another man and when my father found out, he killed both her and the unborn baby brother or sister I could’ve had which was in her belly at the time. I didn’t believe the stories told about my father. I didn’t know my mother, but I was sure she was a good woman. My father was always so king and so nice to me. He couldn’t have murdered my mother and the baby. He was a devout Muslim man who believed in doing good and in treating others with love and respect.

We lived in the small apartment complex, which was a series of white boxes stacked one on top of the other, for the first few years of my life. We moved shortly before my seventh birthday because my father had a job that took him from place to place, and this time, he was to be gone for a very, very long period of time so he took me with him. He explained this new place to me before we left. It was a place filled with new things and new people–people so dark that at night, the only part of them that could be seen was the white of their eyes. I didn’t believe him. No person was ever that dark. But this was to be a world different from the one I knew while living in the tiny apartment complex. This was no longer Saudi Arabia, but Africa, and that was where we were going.

“Zahid,” Maleek whispered as his invisible fingers shook me gently. “It’s your turn to keep watch.”

“Leave me alone,” I mumbled quietly, pushing his hand away. “I just fallen asleep.”

Maleek pressed the button on his watch, covering the soft light of the indiglo with his whole hand cupped around the face of the watch. “It’s four-twenty and my turn to sleep,” he insisted. “You slept for four hours.”

I groaned and swatted behind me, not hitting Maleek, but wishing that it was as easy to ignore him as crushing a pesky mosquito and not having to deal with the persistent buzzing in my ear. “Fine, fine,” I said as I forced myself to sit up. It was so dark that the only part of Maleek I saw was the white of his eyes. We stared at each other for a moment. “Go on then,” I said to him. “Sleep, sleep, so it will quickly be my turn again.”

“In time,” Maleek said as he settled down beside me. He dug himself into the dry dirt and bent some tall grass to use as a pillow. He took off his watch and gave it to me. “Don’t lose it,” he warned me sternly. He did this every time he had to part with the watch. “My father gave it to me. If you lose it, I will kill you.” The threat was an idle one. Maleek didn’t have a father. He grew up on the streets of Umptin, a small poor city in Sudan. He found the watch one day while digging through the trash bins, searching for something to eat. The wrist band was the only part that was broken so Maleek found some string and tied two ends to the face, creating a new band.

“I hear you too loudly,” I said, hushing him with the last two words. “It’s safe, I promise.” I tied the watch tightly on to my wrist, making sure that it wouldn’t fal off, and then I turned to see Maleek staring at me. “What?” I asked. “Didn’t you want to sleep?”

“Don’t fall asleep, Zahid,” Maleek warned me. “I have a bad feeling about tonight.”

“Tonight, tonight,” I said to him. “Night’s almost over now. You always have bad feelings.”

He nodded at me. “Yes, and you fell asleep twice.”

My cheeks reddened, but Maleek couldn’t see the color in the dark. I bit my lip and puffed out my chest. “A simple accident,” I told him. “I didn’t fall asleep after that. If I said I’m up, I’m up.” He only stared at me and it made me more nervous. “Don’t worry,” I said as I pushed his head towards the ground. “I am the brave son of a General. In my country, everyone will be glad to know that we are protecting them, us Generals. My people are not cowards. My father never ran away. I will never run away. And you will not have to fear–”

“You speak too much,” Maleek said as he closed his eyes. I instantly stopped in mid-sentence. I did speak too much when I get nervous. “Do not fall asleep, Zahid,” Maleek repeated. “I have a very bad feeling about this.”

“You can count on me,” I told him. Then I stared into the darkness where I thought he lay until I was sure that he was asleep. “Nothing to do now,” I whispered to myself. “It’s good there’s no lions around.” I shuddered at the thought of the wild beasts that could at any moment, rip to pieces two weak young boys in the middle of nowhere and no one would’ve ever known we existed. I cast the thought out of my head and focused on the task at hand. I was going to keep us both safe, like my father would’ve done if he was still here.

Africa was much like Saudi Arabia in that sand and dirt was everywhere. It was much hotter in Sudan and since being here, I gained a darker skin color than what I’ve been used to all my life. My father and I moved to a small city which wasn’t really a city at all. The roads were cracked and broken with deep gashes stretching far into the earth. Trash was piled up at every place imaginable and there was no room to step without having to step on some type of trash that was permanently stuck on the ground and could never be removed even if it was scrubbed by powerful machines. Vegetables were in short supply and most of them, wilted, nearing rotten by the time that it was carried home in plastic bags. Gangs of little kids shamelessly begged in the streets, picked pockets, and stole right from under noses and hands. I didn’t know that each dirty and raggedly dressed child was an orphan, a lone survivor who banded together with other unlucky souls to survive in their unkind world. I didn’t want to ever become like them. In fact, the city that we arrived in was a great big one with no unsupervised children running around, nice paved roads, restaurants to eat at, and beautiful homes and apartments. I thought we were going to stay there and I got very excited. Then my father took me to this dump of what was called a small city and I felt disappointed. I was unhappy to settle in such an unclean and unwell place.

“Why here?” I had asked my father.

He smiled at me. “This is where my job takes me to,” he replied very kindly.

“You want us to live here?” I couldn’t believe I had to stay in this awful place. “There’s nothing here.”

“A very important job is here,” my father said. “As long as it is here, then we shall be here too.” He patted me on the head and led me up a very blue staircase to a second story door. The white paint was chipped everywhere I looked and the door looked beaten in a few times with dents and a few splinters in the wood. Layers of yellow peeked out from behind the white paint.

“We live here now,” I said to myself, feeling a sense of overwhelming hatred rising up for this place I had to live in. I didn’t understand why we couldn’t live somewhere else, somewhere cleaner. “But this is too much. No one can really live here.”

My father opened the door with his key and turned the rattling loose knob. “Zahid, there is always hope in the midst of any bad thing.” He smiled at me and suddenly, I had to pee.

I awoke to a tightening in my belly. I quickly glanced around to see if Maleek had seen me sleeping, but I heard the soft breathing and knew he had been asleep the whole time. “Lucky!” I whispered to myself as I started to climb to my feet. Maleek would’ve killed me if he knew! The rumbling in my stomach started to ache and I pushed my stomach inward to help soothe some of the pain. “Oh, no,” I groaned. “I have to poop too.” I hurried past Maleek and farther up front, trying to count my steps so I could find my way back. I went fifty steps, and then decided to walk a little bit more to keep the smell away from Maleek who was still sleeping.

In the middle of relieving myself, I heard laughter from somewhere behind me. I strained my ears to listen as much as I also strained to pass a big one. Was Maleek up and laughing at me? Did he smell the stink? I worried and tried to finish so I could go tell him how sorry I was for waking him up. I thought I was far away enough and without wind, there shouldn’t have been any smell.

I was about done, ripping off tall grass in clumps to wipe myself when I heard a voice that didn’t sound familiar. The voice stopped me cold and my hand almost fell into the pile of mess I just made.

“What have we here?” said the stranger. “A little piggy alone to be food for wolves.” There was much laughter after that and coming from more than one person.

Wolves? There are no wolves in Sudan. There were no wolves in Saudi Arabia too although I’ve seen them in textbooks and on the internet. No internet in poor places like this one either. What was the voice talking about? It was not deep enough to be a man. It sounded like a boy, just like me and Maleek. I listened more, hurridly wiping and not caring whether I got all the mess off of my skin or not. I couldn’t leave Maleek to himself.

“I am alone,” Maleek said. So he was awake! “What want you and you?”

Why did he say he was alone? He knew I was here too. Maybe he thought I had run off and left him. I told him I wouldn’t leave! I was about to shout and say something when Maleek’s words brought me to a screeching halt.

“You carry guns.” I didn’t know if he said it as an observation or as a warning to me. A gun was a dangerous weapon. My father had told me so. He said guns took many lives. I’ve seen my father’s gun, but I had never been allowed to touch it. Maleek continued on talking, almost too loudly. “I am alone and there is no one with me. I cannot run away. I will do what you want me to. You go away. You run away. I will stay here.”

His words seem to speak to me as well as to the people around him. Run away, he had said. He wanted me to run away? I stayed low and crawled away from the stinking pile, away from Maleek. Before we rested, I saw a stretch of trees to the left, but that was behind of us. I didn’t know how many people were there with him, but if I could somehow crawl around them and make it to the trees, I would be safe. But the thought of a lion hiding in that brush or a snake or any other wild animal made me worry. I didn’t know what to do.

“You go away,” Maleek said, even louder this time. “You run away. I cannot go awya. What want you and you?”

“He makes no sense,” said one of the boys to the others. “Is he damaged?”

I heard a loud thump and Maleek groaned, a fall in the tall grasses where we were sleeping. “Go away!” Maleek screamed. He was definitely talking to me. I saw falshlights in the distance, but I jumped up and ran in the opposite direction, running and running as fast as I could. I heard someone order the others to look around and see if there was someone else there. I should’ve ran away when Maleek first told me to. I looked behind to see multiple beams of light behind me. Luckily, they did not reach my small form. I have been lucky twice tonight.

I didn’t know where to go or what to do except to run. It was foolish to run in a straight line so I turned left. I had no idea where left went, but it was better than all the people coming up behind me. Maybe they thought I kept straight or maybe they thought I went right. As I ran, the fear carried my tiny legs deep into the early dawn. My chest heaved and my stomach hurt. I didn’t have to poop more, but the lack of food made me nauseous and a little dizzy. I wanted to stop, to rest, but there was nowhere to be safe. As light streamed across the sky, I saw I was on an open plain and behind me, no one was coming up over the horizon. I slowed down enough to catch my breath, wheezing as my lungs tried to draw air past the confines of my chest. My leg muscles spasm and ached, paralyzing themselves in hurtful charley horses that made me wince in pain. I fell down and repeatedly massaged my calf muscles to stop them from locking up on me.

“Maleek,” I whispered as tears threatened to squeeze out of my eyes. Where was my best friend now? Had he survived? What happened to him? I pushed the though out of my head. What was I going to do without him?

I needed water and that was the first thing that Maleek and I had always looked for. We always tried to stay near water although sometimes, the animals stayed by water too. With Maleek, there were two sets of eyes to watch the land around us. If we saw a lion, we always walked really fast in the other direction. If it was a leopard or a cheetah, the same rules applied. In fact, we tried to stay away from all the big animals, harmful or not, We ate berries and whatever else we could find. We ate dirt at times to fill up our groaning bellies.We were so hungry at times that we took handfuls of brown grass and ate it like the animals did. Grass was better than nothing.

I was eating grass now, chewing on long dried stems, trying to work the saliva in my mouth so I didn’t feel so thirsty. If i didn’t find water soon, I’d be dehydrated even more so than I now and I might die out here. I shuddered at that thought. I didn’t want to die out here where the wild animals would fight each other to tear off pieces of meat from my carcass. What would happen if I died? How would I ever know what happened to Maleek? And what if he was looking for me right now? I turned around, but no one was following me so I took my time, trying to see if there was anything in the distance ahead or anywhere.

 

 
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Posted by on July 5, 2014 in Stories, Unfinished Stories

 

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Simple Goals I Want To Accomplish With My Life

There are three things I want to do with my life:

1. Write and publish my stories for the world to enjoy
2. Have an art gallery showcasing my artwork
3. Design, make, and sell my own line of clothing

So far, I’m accomplishing one of the three. I’ve published three novels already with a fourth coming soon. There are many novels I am wanting to finish and publish. There is much to share. I am also working on being a better artist although I can’t seem to find a style since my style changes with my mood (which is often). And I’ll work on the last one when I at least get the second one started. I already have designs drawn out. I know what I like and what I design will be what fits me best. I would like to design for others (women) and make clothing that flatter their bodies and is tailored to fit them perfectly. Right now, I have three different concepts I can rework each design to fit: classy, edgy, and glamorous.

 
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Posted by on July 3, 2014 in Diary

 

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Sneak Peek Summary at Loose Ends, Fourth Novel in the Turning Vampire Series

Here are the summaries of the first three published books in the Turning Vampire series and the soon-to-be published fourth novel, Loose Ends.

The Turning: Seventeen year old Marisa James has never been popular growing up, but after moving into the small town of Sterling, South Dakota, she finds herself at the center of attention of three handsome Russian brothers. Alessander, Demetri, and Ra’vin Arromanovokzja are immortals who are content to lead invisible lives among humans until they are drawn to Marisa. They befriend her in order to learn more about their attraction to her but when they learn of a secret that even she isn’t aware of, they must make a choice that would alter all of their lives forever. Marisa is a vampire, but one not yet turned. A vampire’s turning is a most dangerous event that usually results in numerous deaths. Unable to leave Marisa to face her turning alone, the brothers adopt her into their family in the hopes of preventing a tragedy although they now place their own lives in danger as well.

Blood Lust: Marisa and her three brothers: Alessander, Demetri, and Ra’vin Arromanovokzja, have been called home to the Carpathians by their mother, the queen of the Zjavankas and head of the Council, an elite group of vampires that govern the world. Marisa, however, has a secret. She is twice turned and while she is fully a royal, she is also a Streigos, a fearsome vampire that takes on the physical form of a monster that could appear any day and expose her secret. With the Zjavankas and the Streigos at odds with one another, Marisa finds herself at odds with her new vampire life. When Marisa meets a handsome man named Tristinos, she finds herself thrown into a different world, one that will open her eyes to the lies surrounding her new family and her new life. Who is Tristinos and what does he know about Marisa’s secret? Is she safe by trusting him or will she have only put herself into more danger than her brothers can save her out of?

Masquerade: Joining the Council, an elite group of vampires who oversaw political affairs, was the best decision Marisa and her brothers Alessander, Demetri, and Ra’vin ever made in order to help bring peace between the Zjavankas and the Streigos, two warring vampire factions. Being the only vampire who is both a Zjavanka and a Streigos, Marisa has managed to hide the scarier gargoyle side of her until now. Marisa is turning again and a Streigos doesn’t resemble anything close to human. How will her brothers protect her from the persecution of the Zjavankas once they find out that she’s a Streigos? And what’s worse, her Maker, the demon Streigos himself, is now on her tail and has threatened the Zjavankas with war. Will everything that Marisa and her brothers have worked so hard for all be for nothing? Or is there a way to unite the two groups with the truth of the feud before it’s too late?

Loose Ends: Marisa has chosen to leave her brothers, Alessander, Demetri, and Ra’vin, in order to protect them from the threat of death by Svendios, her Maker and the demon Streigos himself. All Marisa has known since becoming a vampire is left behind as Svendios takes her somewhere far away, separating her and all the ones she loves forever. When a chance to undo the past forces Marisa to reconsider the bad choices she’s made in her life, including the decision to leave, Marisa is led to explore an all too real temptation as she must decide to keep the life she had–mistakes and all, or create a new one, not knowing if that new life comes at the expense of destroying the lives she aimed to protect.

You can find the Turning Vampire series on Amazon here:
http://amazon.com/dp/B00HBKIPUY
http://amazon.com/dp/B00IS9MXN2
http://amazon.com/dp/B00JO16LUY

You can also find the Turning Vampire series at Smashwords here:
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/386187
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/415301
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/428766

 
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Posted by on July 3, 2014 in Book Reviews

 

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