“Outer beauty pleases the EYE. Inner beauty captivates the HEART.”
― Mandy Hale
Being in love is a wonderful thing. It really is, except when it’s not. Society tells us that we have to look a certain way as women, and men should look a certain way as well although most women are more lax in their standards of men than men are in their standards of women. To many women, love doesn’t care about looks. Love doesn’t group attractiveness on body image or body size. To many men, love cares about looks. Love groups attractiveness on body image or body size. While this isn’t true for most people, it is for some and those some are the ones I’m writing this for.
Imagine a relationship where your boyfriend or girlfriend never tells you that you’re attractive to them. Imagine a relationship where you never hear the words, “you’re beautiful” or “you’re handsome”, by the one you love. How hurt would you feel? At this point, you’d even take, “you’re pretty” or “you’re cute”, but you don’t get any of those words from the person who tells you every day that they love you. What is wrong with this picture? Do they really love you? Do they even love you at all? Is there nothing about you that they find attractive? Is there nothing about you that they find beautiful?
The Little Mermaid teaches us that you just have to look pretty, be skinny, and be young to have “true love”. Unfortunately, to Disney, true love is defined as an obsession with a beautiful stranger in which one changes their self in order to have three days of trying to pursue and seduce that stranger into kissing them (or in modern terms, seduce that stranger into bed). Ariel, pretty, young, and skinny redhead that she is, gives up her voice to grow legs and chase after prince Eric, a guy that she is “in love with” all because he’s “so handsome”.
What if Eric was a wife beater? What if Eric wasn’t so charming even if he was handsome? Would Ariel still have traded her voice for a pair of legs then? Probably so. When you’re that young, Ariel is portrayed as being 16, love is based purely on looks. For a lot of people, they never grew out of that teenage stage where love is based purely on looks.
Let’s pretend for a moment that Ariel is 100 pounds. And let’s pretend that Ursula is 300 pounds. Now, going by weight alone, men can say that they’re happy with a woman that is anywhere in between that scale of above 100 and below 300 pounds. But, are they really? Would a lot of men choose Ursula? Sure, she’s got extra tentacles, but she’s fat. Let’s not candy coat it. She’s not aesthetically attractive at all. She’s trying too hard with way too much makeup in order to make up for her size. Ariel, however, is pretty and skinny. She’s attractive because she’s small and looks aesthetically pleasing to the eye. She doesn’t have to wear a lot of makeup and everyone loves a redhead. Almost all men would prefer Ariel over Ursula.
Now. Switch the two of them around. What if Ariel was the fat, ugly, 300 pound mermaid? And what if Ursula was a 100 pound, attractive, redheaded half octopus sea creature? Most men would now prefer Ursula over Ariel. Why is that? Is body size and looks that important when you’re in love? Sadly, it is when it shouldn’t be.
What is beautiful should be the person you fall in love with, no matter how they look like or no matter their shortcomings. Of course everyone wants to be beautiful and handsome to the one they love. It’s a shame that sometimes, the one they love can’t see what is beautiful about them. It’s not their looks. It’s not their body size or their weight or their height. It’s who they are as a person that’s beautiful.
I hope that everyone who reads this will appreciate the one they love and tell them that they’re attracted to them. Say it in words they can understand and words they need to hear: “you are beautiful to me” or “you are handsome to me”. If you’re not attracted to the person you’re with or you can’t tell them that, if you can’t find one single thing about them that is beautiful, then you don’t deserve them.