RSS

Tag Archives: Jesus

Eternal Life is Not a Gift. It is a Contract.

What is a gift?

If I gave a gift to someone, there are no strings attached, right? The meaning of a gift is that that person I’m giving it to, has done nothing to earn that gift. And they also have to do nothing in order to keep that gift. I don’t expect anything from them. I don’t expect them to be nice to me. I don’t expect them to have done something nice to me before hand. Gifts are like how we give things to strangers and part ways and forget about the good thing we’ve done. We’ll never meet them again, but we gave because we wanted to, not because they had something to offer us back.

Romans 6:23 KJV says:

“For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

I’m confused. How is eternal life a gift from God if we have to constantly be bound by rules and regulations and acts in order to retain that gift? It’s a contract, not a gift. A contract states that certain obligations have to be met in order for certain things to happen. What we’re really doing is signing a contract. We’re saying that we agree to God’s terms and we agree to live and abide by His word, and in return, we get the chance of living in heaven forever with him. It’s a chance because it’s not even a guarantee that we’ll end up in heaven. What we’re doing is signing a contract with God.

How is signing a contract the same as a gift? A gift is given with no strings attached. A gift is given primarily out of love. A contract is business. A contract is an agreement on terms of trade. A contract is not a gift. And eternal life is not a gift.Eternal life is a contract.

All in all, including all the obligations I’ve explained in an earlier post about how much stuff there is that goes into being saved that one has to do in order to be saved, you also have to give up your soul. I kind of glossed over that fact in my last post. The, “God owns your soul now and forevermore” part is part of that contract. Yep. You give up all rights to your soul. It’s even stated in the Bible what happens to your souls.

Jesus said that when people die and they go to heaven, they will be like the angels of heaven. And how are the angels of heaven, the ones that still live in heaven? Well, they play by daddy’s rules and they follow every one of daddy’s commands and essentially, they are daddy’s mindless drones that completes daddy’s tasks he sets for them. So in heaven, people will be exactly like the angels: mindless drones that do the bidding of God and his Christ.

Sounds fun, doesn’t it? I could be burning in hell or I could be a mindless drone in heaven. Which one would I rather be?

All in all, I am so lost and confused and maybe clarified on a lot of things, but the best choice I ever made to become a Christian suddenly doesn’t seem to be a good choice. And it hurts, this confusion and this pain. This annoyance with not knowing what the truth really is. Quite frankly, I don’t know if I’d trust the truth anymore if I did know it.

Advertisements
 
2 Comments

Posted by on September 16, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Do We Automatically Go to Heaven if We’re Poor?

I’m not understanding this. I’m not understanding a lot of things lately. This faith thing has been rolling around in my head for a while now, enough to make me want to find out what the truth is. Do we automatically go to heaven if we’re poor? Apparently, that’s what the Bible is saying.

Take the story of the rich man and the poor man that Jesus tells in Luke 16:19-31, KJV.

19 There was a certain rich man, which was clothed in purple and fine linen, and fared sumptuously every day:
20 And there was a certain beggar named Lazarus, which was laid at his gate, full of sores,
21 And desiring to be fed with the crumbs which fell from the rich man’s table: moreover the dogs came and licked his sores.
22 And it came to pass, that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels into Abraham’s bosom: the rich man also died, and was buried;
23 And in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments, and seeth Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom.
24 And he cried and said, Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus, that he may dip the tip of his finger in water, and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame.
25 But Abraham said, Son, remember that thou in thy lifetime receivedst thy good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things: but now he is comforted, and thou art tormented.
26 And beside all this, between us and you there is a great gulf fixed: so that they which would pass from hence to you cannot; neither can they pass to us, that would come from thence.
27 Then he said, I pray thee therefore, father, that thou wouldest send him to my father’s house:
28 For I have five brethren; that he may testify unto them, lest they also come into this place of torment.
29 Abraham saith unto him, They have Moses and the prophets; let them hear them.
30 And he said, Nay, father Abraham: but if one went unto them from the dead, they will repent.
31 And he said unto him, If they hear not Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded, though one rose from the dead.

There’s not enough information here to conclude anything except that Lazarus was poor and the rich man was rich. So being poor, I can only presume that Lazarus hoped for good things. And if we, being poor, hope for good things, are we guaranteed those good things after death like Lazarus? I’m confused. Does this mean that everyone who hoped for a savior, who hoped that someone would come save them from the miserable wretched life that they now live…will all those people go to heaven?

It is said that after Jesus Christ has died and risen, that we are to believe He is the savior. And if so, being that people long ago, hoping for someone to save them, who didn’t know of Jesus, but who hope anyways for salvation, if that hope is being counted for them as belief in Christ, our Savior, then why is it now that people who hope for a savior, can’t be saved if that savior isn’t Jesus? How is it that those people back then, who hoped to an invisible God, could be saved because that invisible God is automatically the Christian God, and yet, people have hoped and prayed and spoken in secret their heart’s wishes and desires and their worries and fears and that invisible God is automatically the wrong God?

My mother, who believes that heaven and hell doesn’t exist, and that if she is a good person, mainly good to others, then that makes her a good person regardless and that that goodness would be enough. There are many people who think the same way, that if we are kind and good in life and that if we treat others the way that we wanted to be treated, then our afterlives would be good because we are good. My mother isn’t buying her way into heaven. She doesn’t even believe in heaven. She simply believes that good begets good and bad begets bad. And isn’t that what we are taught in from the Bible? That a good tree will produce good fruits, but a wicked tree would produce bad fruit. So how is this any different from what the Bible does teach?

I’ve come to the realization that there is no salvation for one. Lazarus being poor and needy and having a hard life, was granted heaven in Abraham’s bosom. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t because Lazarus believed in Jesus. It seemed more that Lazarus was of the lineage of Abraham, and that faith wasn’t mentioned at all as a prerequisite for his salvation. For it was mentioned that salvation belonged to the Jews, and only after Paul was sent to preach to the world, that salvation was given to the whole world because the Jews denied their God and did not want any part in his Christ. Was it then that the rest of us are only an after thought? While many Christians argue that God, all knowing, had included the rest of us in his plan, it’s not as convincing to everyone who doesn’t like the simple fact that they weren’t good enough to be a part of that plan to begin with.

Imagine it as a single parent family, as God being a father, who raising twenty kids, decides to favorite one, and love five. That favorite one, is Jesus. And those five, are the Jews. What happens to the other fourteen children? How do they feel when daddy makes them eat after the others, makes them walk behind the others, and essentially, tell them that they’re not good enough to get Christmas presents? But wait, because the other five children were so spoiled and so loved by daddy that they didn’t want their toys on Christmas, daddy gets mad and gives those toys to the rest of the little boys and little girls who didn’t get any to begin with. For children who was denied the same love and same treatment and same privilege as their siblings, those presents were everything to them. Daddy loves them. Daddy gave them gifts. And when they grew up, they realized, that if daddy hadn’t loved the others so much that when the others rebelled and didn’t want the presents with their names on it, then they would’ve never gotten anything from daddy at all. And how then do those fourteen children feel, all grown up with the truth that their daddy didn’t love them? Their daddy loved their siblings and because their siblings refused that love, only then, out of wrath and anger, and out of trying to make their siblings jealous, did their daddy finally showed them a bit of love. How does that make them feel good about themselves, about how it’s said that their daddy loves them so much that he did everything for them, when in truth, their daddy was just someone whose love was unrequited and in an act of anger, he only loved those he never loved in order to make the ones he did love, fill with jealousy and turn back to him? Those fourteen children would feel confused and angry and cheated and betrayed. Their daddy never loved them. He showed them love because he wanted to make their siblings jealous. How is that a good father? And how is it love when their daddy’s only intention was to make his chosen ones jealous? It sounds spiteful and horrible.

Paul has said that, salvation came to the Gentiles only because the Jews refused the free gift of eternal life by God. Romans 11:11 KJV said, and this is Paul speaking about the Jews:

I say then, Have they stumbled that they should fall? God forbid: but rather through their fall salvation is come unto the Gentiles, for to provoke them to jealousy.

“…for to provoke them to jealousy.”

The entire purpose of salvation for the Gentiles was to anger the Jews to jealousy.

Take a love relationship for example. Imagine it as a man who loves a woman and does her bidding and provides for her and takes care of every single need and desire she has. And when that woman starts rejecting that man and no longer wants his love and affection, and takes upon herself many other lovers, that man goes out and seeks a lover, anyone would do, in order to provoke her to jealousy that she may return to him. But what of his other lover? He doesn’t love her. He’s using her to make his love jealous so that she’d come home.

We are but an after thought in the mind of God to make the ones he loves jealous so that they’d return to him. How is that love at all? It’s not. It’s not love. Not one single minute of being mind raped and manipulated that we are indeed loved and precious.

If Lazarus, who being poor, wasn’t of the lineage of Abraham, and the rich man, being rich and plentiful, was of the lineage of Abraham, would this story have been told a different way? For there is no mention of faith. There is no mention of belief. There is only the mention that Lazarus was in Abraham’s bosom, an implication that Lazarus was of the line of Abraham. Does faith and belief even matter then? Or is the only thing that does matter is who we can trace our ancestors to?

Salvation itself isn’t for one. We can, as individuals, believe in Christ and accept Jesus as our savior. And we’re saved, right? Unfortunately, that’s not the case. It should be that simple for a free gift, but nothing is free without strings attached. In order to be saved, you have to believe that Jesus, who is God, was born a man, lived for 33 years, was crucified and died for your sins, was risen three days later, and is now sitting at the right hand of God until the day of his return. Now, you have to accept that Jesus died for your sins personally, because the wages of sin is death, and if Jesus died your death, then you won’t have to die a second death, which is odd because you have to die a mortal death anyhow. And after that, you have to get baptized and be reborn again. And after that, you have to go spread the good news and tell how Jesus has changed your life. And after telling people about Christ, you have to also try and convert them. And the ones that don’t want to listen, you simply ignore them and move on to people who do want to listen and who do want to be converted. And not only that, you must now try to be as much like Jesus as you can. That means compassionate and helping and performing miracles and exorcising demons and raising people from the dead, turning water into wine. Lots of works. So these souls that you’ve convinced and won for Jesus, they will be added to you as a crown. And as it says nothing about the people who didn’t convert a single soul getting a crown, it’s safe to imply that they won’t have crowns. So even in heaven, there’s this hierarchy of people who won souls and people who haven’t and they’ll be distinguished by the crowns that they’re wearing. Now, as if that isn’t a cause for discrimination in heaven, from a God to whom all sin is equal, then surely there should be no distinction in heaven between Jews and Gentiles, between those who has converted souls and those who barely converted themselves. Even the angels have rank, and believe that in heaven, everyone saved also will have rank. Again it will be, daddy loves who he loves the most.

I don’t know. I’m tired of thinking. I don’t want to think about this anymore.

 
1 Comment

Posted by on September 14, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Queen of Heaven

In my dreams, there’s always a “queen of heaven”. Please note that all my dreams are horrific recurring nightmares. This has been a constant long before I accepted Christ. That’s not the point. The point is, in my awful and painful recurring nightmares, there’s a very evil and wicked woman who claims to be the queen of heaven.

Now, there’s hardly any logical thought in dreams and during lucid dreaming, there’s a slim chance that I am able to rationalize all the impossible things happening around me and to me as not being real. Pain, however, drives away all thoughts. When you’re being tortured in gruesome ways, your mind tends to disassociate. Everything stops and gets blocked out. You float a bit out of your dream body, much like you would in real life if that happened to you, and you become a spectator on the grotesque event happening to you.

I’m not strong so I run, as much as I can, which always happens to be in painfully slow motion. I’ve gone to extreme lengths to get away, inasmuch as harming myself to wake up. It’s a lucid dream so the knowledge that I’m dreaming is there, although the fear is overwhelming to the point of panic. It’s like being a caged animal. Your senses are cranked on ultra sensitivity alert. Adrenaline pumps through your veins like steroids. You’re simply just frantic and mad, doing anything and everything to get out, to wake up, to leave.

This queen of heaven watches in amusement because she haunts me and tortures me and knows that I must sleep some time, some day. I avoid her as much as I can. I avoid even the thought of her. In my dreams, all the churches are corrupted. There’s a blue book, a bible, dedicated to the queen of heaven. Churches are filled with more demons and monsters than actual people, of which I’ve never seen a real Christian in my dreams, ever.

Because of the nature of my dreams, I used to roam occult sites looking for answers. I wasn’t a Christian. I avoided Christianity. God didn’t help the nightmares. Demons in my dreams found the name Jesus to be funny. And they’d torture me more for foolishly believing that anyone or anything could help me.

New age. Metaphysical. Pagan. Occult. Kabbalah. Catholic. It’s all the same thing wrapped up in a pretty bow.

I used to not sleep out of fear. I’d stay awake with as many creepy things haunting my waking moments as they do when I’m asleep. I’m afraid of the dark for a reason. I’m afraid to be alone for a reason. I was conditioned to fear.

I pushed it all aside. Disassociated it. Pretended that it doesn’t happen. Pretended that I am safe. If I continued pretending enough, then it fades. It trickles slowly into the background, like a camera which focuses on one thing and blurs everything else out until it’s no longer there. That was the solution to my waking life, in order to have any semblance of a normal life, I disassociated the trauma, the fear, and the supernatural elsewhere. I don’t even know where now. But what about my dreams? That’s something I haven’t been able to figure out or fix yet.

I’ve come to the realization that evil exists in this world in an overwhelming capacity. Wickedness works in high places and infiltrates even into our own houses. Yep. It’s right under our noses, staring us in the face.

One of the groups I’m in on Facebook deals with magic. Their goddess is the most terrifying creepy woman ever. “Draw this sigil. Invite her into your dreams. She’s scary at first, but she gives you power and she’ll help.”

What? She’s frightening, but she’s really a cuddly teddy bear?

I never tried it. I have too many creepy women running around in my dreams already, I didn’t need another one with the thoughts of others feeding into some entity that would invade my already unbearable dreams. Who does that? I already instinctively flee from some queen of heaven creature. I didn’t need a queen of the webs to trap me in her webs. How do you even trust something that wants to kill you? It’s insanity.

For fame? For power? For the ability to say that you know magic and nothing can harm you? I don’t understand how people would enslave themselves to entities and demons and such when I’m trying to break free. Nothing, no amount of wealth or power or control would ever make me want to be a part of that or of any other like that. I am human. I will die. And so will the most powerful and the wealthiest person alive on this earth. We are mortals and we will die. And I will at least not die a slave to a beast.

The world is corrupted and corruption is right in our faces, taunting our inability to see it and to understand it.

I find it interesting that people don’t believe in the Bible. They don’t believe in God or in Jesus. Yet, they surely do know all the symbols of the devil. Wake up. All these symbols, all these gestures, all these horns and goats’ heads are not pop culture. They are not what’s cool right now. There’s an agenda behind everything. These images, these references, all these things desensitize people to evil, to the devil, to what’s bad and what’s wrong. It prepares people to be accepting of a master who requires terrifying you, humiliating you, and stripping down every last bit of humanity in you in order to make you a vessel for his own people, for demons.

People of every other religion but Christianity, and many who claim to be Christians, are using demonic symbols and gestures. But why? Surely they don’t believe in the devil because he’s a made up part of a made up religion called Christianity, right?

It boggles my mind, the sheer volume of misinformation and deception people allow themselves to believe, the ignorance of generations too entitled to freedom to realize they’re all slaves.

To see the world for what it is, to see the truth for what it is, maybe it’s so evil and corrupted that people have to disassociate themselves from it like I have to do with my dreams.

God is not a woman. God is not transgender. There is no queen of heaven. People can argue immortal gender issues all they want, as if they should know because they’ve got the inside scoop from so called experts and scientists and whomever or they’re really an immortal or whatever, but that’s the truth and it isn’t going to change. People, in their ignorance, helps to accomplish the agendas of those seeking to control and eliminate you. The world is full of wickedness. Learn the truth and wake up. I need to wake up again and stay awake.

 
1 Comment

Posted by on July 8, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

My Thoughts on Christianity, Homosexuality, and Marriage Equality

This is a conundrum.

I am only speaking from my opinion, my perspective, so anything I say shouldn’t be correlated to any group of people nor should my words be representative of any group of people. This is all just me. With that said, I’ll start.

I’m a Christian. I believe homosexuality is a sin. I support marriage equality for all human beings.

Many people automatically think, “oh, she’s a Christian so she is against gay marriage”. It’s a false misconception. The misconception occurs because Christianity is based on the teachings of the Bible and the Bible clearly states wrong things that we as followers, aren’t supposed to do or aren’t supposed to take part in. It’s a conflict of belief and personal preferences.

How can I be a Christian, believe homosexuality is a sin, and still support gay marriage?

The thing about Christianity is that calling someone a sinner isn’t an insult. It’s an accepted belief that everyone is a sinner. We’ve all done wrong things. It’s normal to be a sinner because no one is perfect. It’s like saying, “you have blood” or “there’s a brain in your head”. Being a sinner isn’t a degrading and insulting thing. Rather, it acknowledges that we’re imperfect beings that need a Savior.

People often forget that homosexuality isn’t the only sexual sin in the Bible. There’s seven, one of which I truly have forgotten by now so I’ll just leave unnamed. Surprisingly, it isn’t masturbation. Masturbation isn’t a sexual sin. There’s adultery, fornication, prostitution, homosexuality, incest, and beastiality. Adultery is sex outside of marriage. Fornication is sex before marriage. Prostitution is sex for money. Homosexuality is sex with the same sex. Incest is sex within the immediate family. And beastiality is sex with animals.

People have often said to me, “how can you be so against love? It says don’t eat shellfish and pigs in the Bible and people do that. How do you just pick and choose what you want when it’s convenient for you?”

The people who ask these questions are often defensive. That means one big thing: they’re not listening to me. Regardless of what I say, all they hear is, “she’s a Christian and a hypocrite and a bigot and against gay marriage.” If I say I’m not against gay marriage, the words totally fly over their heads because they’re not listening. They’re angry and upset and on the defense.

It’s a common misconception to anyone who doesn’t understand the Bible that sexual sins doesn’t equal food regulations. It’s a hard concept for many to grasp because it does state that Jews weren’t allowed to eat shellfish and pigs and fish without scales and things that were named unclean. It was meant to keep them from doing wrong. People around them were eating all these things that they couldn’t eat. If they ate them, then they’d also hang out more with the people around them, get married to the people who lived around them, and eventually, turn away from God by worshiping other gods of the people around them. The laws were in place so the Jewish people could keep themselves separated from the people around them.

In the new Testament, when Paul was recruiting Romans and everyone else not Jewish, it was said that for the people who understood that it isn’t what goes into your body that defiles you (makes you unclean), then they could bless whatever food was put before them and eat. To those who were a bit weaker of faith and who saw that eating such foods might in some way defile them, then for them not to eat. Jesus himself said that it wasn’t what went into our bodies that defiled us because it goes in through our mouths and out the other end and cast away into nothingness. But it’s the things that come from our mouths (words and blessings and curses) that defile us because they come from the heart, for out of the heart comes evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, and blasphemies.

Sexual sins are very different from eating foods. Sex serves for two purposes: procreation and reproduction, and the joining of two into one flesh. We all know about the having babies part, but when two people become one, it’s a very different thing (spiritually speaking). It can be dangerous because people are vessels. Vessels for God and vessels for other things. Spirits can inhabit people and not in the way you see on tv and not by those kinds of possessions. Most people walk around with spirits attached to them and they don’t know it.These spirits can transfer from one person to the next. This occurs by touch. In reference to sexual sins, it’s like spiritually sexually transmitted diseases. You probably don’t know you have it and you’ll probably never show up with any of the symptoms, but you’ve been infested and invaded.

While people often associate homosexuality to being the only sexual sin, they’re very wrong. Adultery, a sexual sin, cannot occur without marriage. I totally support marriage for heterosexual couples. And in a way, that supports the presence of adultery. Without marriage, adultery wouldn’t exist. Marriage in itself is really to stop people from sinning so much. Marriage is a barrier to sexual sins because it allows two people to safely have sex inside a marriage and to have a healthy relationship because of marriage.

I’m a firm believer in marriage equality and equal rights for all people regardless of race, sex, religion, color, sexual orientation, etc, etc. I am also a very stubborn and outspoken person about things I am passionate about. I am a huge supporter of freedom because no one is going to tell me what I can and cannot do and what I can and cannot say. I do not like mass control. Not allowing gays the right to marriage or to tax breaks or to adoptions is a form of controlling the masses. It’s a form of religious control in a world where there is a supposed freedom of religion because people are imposing their beliefs and ideas of marriage upon others. It’s a form of oppression because as human beings, gays should have every right that any other person is allowed. That means freedom from hatred and violence. I also see this a lot with race and color. It’s sad that individuals want to dictate whether a person lives or dies based on their skin color or their ethnicity. No one has the right to take a life, not even their own life, in my opinion.

I’m a firm believer in letting people learn on their own. We all do bad things. Murder. Adulteries. Thefts, Fornications. False Witnesses. Blasphemies. Evil thoughts. Etc, etc. While one wrong may be judged more harshly according to the laws of man, God sees all sins as being the same. Rebellion is the same as witchcraft. Stubborness is equated to iniquity (not doing what God specifically says to do) and also to idolatry (worshiping other gods). Who would’ve ever thought that stubborness was a sin? Well, here it is, a sin. So while we’re sitting here judging homosexuals for their sins and trying to prevent them from equal rights, we ourselves are all at fault of something. No one is preventing us from getting married so why should we feel a right or an entitlement to imposing our beliefs upon others and prevent them from marriage and equal rights? It’s wrong. It’s very hypocritical and unjust.

I try very hard not to judge others for their wrong doings. I am no better than they are. I’m actually much, much worse then any one of them. I’m a firm believer in letting God decide what is right and what is wrong. My human intelligence is limited. I have no omniscience. Good and bad to me are simply words, words that changes meaning with popular culture and whatever is the in thing to do. There are many things that I think is wrong although no one else seems to have a problem with it, and many things I think is right although no one else seems to agree with me on it. Therefore, I leave people in God’s hands. Mine are not capable enough to deal with someone so precious as a life. I would mess it up. I would totally screw it all up and mess it up bad. So for all the things I don’t know and I don’t understand, I let God handle it.

Love isn’t always an easy thing. It’s not always happy and blissful. It’s harsh at times. It’s punishing at other times. It’s suffering many times over. But love is the most beautiful thing there is. It may be difficult at times, but it is encouraging and uplifting and good and hopeful. I do not understand how oppression, corruption, control, and abuse is in any way a form of love, even a form of tough love.It’s not. How can we show love with so much hatred? How can we show love with so much violence? How do we even demand that someone else cannot have the same rights as ourselves? Love isn’t taught through war. Love isn’t taught through hate. Love is compassion and kindness. Love is patience and joy.

I’m tired and I’m off to bed. I wish for world peace. Let’s all be at peace with one another.
 
2 Comments

Posted by on April 29, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

A Conversation About God

This is a conversation between me and my good friend John about God. He gave me permission to repost his comments on Facebook here on my blog. I really liked how we both had an intelligent conversation without all the arguing that mostly comes with discussing religion. Thanks John! ^_^

  • Xao Thao That’s not true. And those reference links–one went to a Dutch YouTube page which has no consequence on the matter and the other went nowhere. New Testament documents are 99.5% accurate in relation to each other being 24,000 copies, compared to many other ancient manuscripts such as Homer’s Illiad which stands at a mere 95% accuracy out of 643 copies. Actual reference links for you: http://www.str.org/…/is-the-new-testament-text-reliable… and http://www.godandscience.org/apologetics/bibleorg.html

    About Mission & Values Ambassador Model STR Staff…
    str.org
  • Xao Thao It’s a lack of knowledge that destroys people, so has God said this very same thing and it’s proven to be true.
  • Xao Thao Not true either. Hell was created for the devil and his angels.
  • John Behrent Try this, then.

    John Behrent's photo.
  • Xao Thao Not true either. There was a reason why He flooded the world. And He didn’t kill everyone. He saved Noah and his wife, their sons and their wives.
  • Xao Thao You can throw me more memes made up by ignorant people to which the masses believe whole heartedly without reason nor actual knowledge. Popular opinion doesn’t doesn’t make something wrong right.
  • John Behrent Let’s think about this for a minute. Let’s go on the supposition that God is all-knowing, and always has been. That means that on Day One, he knew the consequences of putting the Tree of Knowledge in the garden of Eden. He knew the serpent would tempt Eve after he forbade her and Adam from eating from it. But he put it there anyway, then gave them the boot for doing what he knew they’d do. Does that really sound like something a good, kind, loving deity would do? Further, if he’s all-knowing, why did he spend so much time testing people’s faith? He knew who was loyal to him and who wasn’t, right? Or is he really imperfect and flawed?
  • John Behrent And also, I don’t care how much you want to glorify innocent sacrifice. If God is all-knowing and all-powerful, not to mention a loving deity, he’d have gotten out of his great cosmic Barcalounger and given Jesus a hand, instead of letting him be tortured to death. NO loving father let’s one of his children suffer.
  • Xao Thao It’s because people have free will and the ability to choose. Just because a parent knows that a child will choose wrong doesn’t mean that that parent doesn’t love that child. And because a good parent would discipline their children when they do wrong, it by no means mean that that parent loves their children any less. Parents allow children to make their own mistakes because that is the only way that any child will learn and grow. Free will gives independence to people. They have the ability to do what they want to do and therefore, even if a parent wanted to hold on to a child and protect them from all the wrong things in the world, that child will find ways to do them regardless. So yes, punishment is indeed needed to correct wrong behavior so that children grow up wiser and do less wrong things.
  • Xao Thao There are no innocent sacrifices. Because of Adam and Eve, all have sinned and are born in sin. Therefore, Jesus was needed as a pure and holy sacrifice because he IS God in the flesh. A loving deity is also a fierce deity that protects and is jealous. Mankind wants to mold God down to our standards so that we are able to understand Him, but He knew our inability to be anywhere close to His great magnificence and became flesh for us so He could understand us. He suffered for us. And yet, without that suffering, millions more would be damned today.
  • John Behrent Firstly, the Eden thing proves that God set Adam and Eve up. They were the Bible’s first patsies. And secondly, I don’t see how ‘allowing a child to make their own mistakes’ equates to being okay with someone else torturing your own child to death. The fact that God did nothing makes me doubt his omnipotence.
  • John Behrent Xao, look around you, really look at the world. Look at what politicians and the wealthy are doing to it, and to innocent people. Without remorse, pity, or regret. Can you really tell me we’re not damned anyway, with the state of the world? And still, God does…nothing.
  • Xao Thao The fact that mankind wrestles with God daily and in their ignorance and arrogance (seemingly, they believe they know better than Him who created them), makes me doubt why God bothers to save. However, despite my own harsh opinions of humanity, it’s done. Salvation is here for those who will accept it. We can argue God’s goodness or people believing that He does nothing while the world crumbles and rots to pieces, but it is because of US that the world is in shambles. People want to blame God for bad things that other bad people do. The Crusades is often used as a device against God saying He allowed millions to be slaughtered under His name. No, that’s not even true. The Crusades were a battle campaign created by wicked men in whose hearts were thoughts of evil continually, who under the false guise that God was their leader, sent out and persecuted Christians as their main targets out of the millions that they’ve slaughtered in cold blood. There is a Just God in heaven and believe me that He does not turn a blind eye to all the evil and wickedness of mankind. There is a Judgement Day for all and whether it satisfies you or me that “decent” people never get anything good in their lives while the wicked prosper, it is not up for us to deal out judgement. Vengeance is the Lord’s and He will repay.
  • John Behrent No, man doesn’t wrestle with God. Man wrestles against man. Why? For control. For power. For objects and titles that won’t follow them to the next world anyway. Let’s just be honest, we’re not going to agree on a lot in this conversation. I’m not even a Christian of any stripe. But I’m at peace with the fact that that’s what’s right for you. Are we cool?
  • Xao Thao We’re always cool. I thought we were having a really good conversation that I was going to copy everything down and save it. John, man wrestles with God every day when man believes that they know what God should be doing for them or for the world. We want God to do things our way when we want them to be done and then we throw a tantrum and say God is unloving when we don’t get what we want. God knows what is best for us. And it is because of this that certain things are allowed in our life and certain things are not. Suffering, yes, is allowed in all of our lives, not as a test to how much we love Him, but a test to how much He loves us that He will in all our trials and troubles, make a way out for us. We are not defeated. We are still here. And no matter how bad or sad or mad we are or the world around us is, we will overcome in Him. People don’t have to be Christians to believe in God. I always knew God existed as a little girl, growing up in a household full of shamans, and I wasn’t a Christian until 6 years ago. Everything in my life had to go exactly as they did for me to reach the point where I would choose Him. And I’ve rejected God many, many times. So many times, I can’t count. But, His great mercy saved me. And albeit, I’m not a good Christian, but I know better. Meaning I know what I should be like. Many Christians will be in hell and they will be very surprised. Being a Christian doesn’t mean conforming to a large religion that in today’s world, conforms to the world and their beliefs, but being a Christian means following Christ. People can be Christians without church, without organized religion, without all that extra mankind made mess of what Christianity should be like or should be about. I pray one day that everyone is saved, although I know that will never be true. Despite whether I like someone or not (I’m pretty antisocial and mean), it would make me happy to see less people in hell and more in heaven, even if they were supposedly my worst enemies. *hugs*
  • Wendy Booth Just gonna throw this curve ball in here…at no particular person. Religion is SO SO different than spirituality. Spirituality is just a partial experience of all-that-is. All spiritual experience is incomplete, because it is not possible to know the whole of God. I’m inclined to believe that a truly spiritual person will (understanding his/her experiences are so incomplete) very warily eye someone or something who would deem to have specific details of things he/she could not have experienced him/herself. That’s not to imply that ‘faith’ is a bad thing. But even faith should be seeded in some fact and reason. At its best moments (which are rare), religion is never more than a very DULL reflection of any God – in a tiny little mirror made by the hand of a tiny little man.
 
2 Comments

Posted by on November 2, 2014 in Diary

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Worlds We Create

There’s a story that goes somewhere along the lines of one being left alone after family is burned in a house fire…these are the tales of people I’ve met throughout the years who have said such things, the tales of those who would later come to be known as vampires.

“And when I woke, everything was different. Everything was new.”

Is it a passing myth that to be a vampire, one must lose all their mortal families in a house fire?

The first tale was told over a decade ago by a woman who claimed to be a real vampire and not the kind that are found today strolling into goth clubs and feeding off of blood for fun. No. She claimed to be a very old vampire who have lived for centuries and has been sheltered from the modern world and all it’s technological advances…that is, if you didn’t count using the internet which was the medium in which we spoke. And of course, computers because that’s pretty modern too. Her story was one liken from The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood in which a society of wealth ruled all lower classes and subjected them to labor and servitude. She lived in a castle by the cliffs of the sea, in which vampires flew by night and her Lord and Master still uses gold coins at an exceedingly too-good-to-be-true rate of thousands of dollars for one coin. I was hooked at the time on her story and the reality that even if nothing she said was true, she believed it and had created a world of magnificence and wonder for herself that was more real than the reality in which she lived. It was her father and twin brother who had died in a mysterious house fire, and later, her Lord and Master found her and took her in, raising her as his own bride-to-be if he had not yet already had a wife and many mistresses from multiple marriages before her existence.

The second time I heard it was from a man claiming to be a vampire. His father and sister died in a house fire and he was left alone to fend for himself. How he eventually became a vampire, that part never remained with my memory, but he claimed to be a real vampire, those of old and of legends.

The third time I heard it was recently. A girl’s parents died in a house fire and left her and her twin brother alone. She didn’t claim to be a real vampire, but she played one on Second Life where I too, played a vampire with Bloodlines.

What kind of lives do we have? First lives–the ones where we are born into; second life–the ones we live inside the online SL game; past lives–the ones where we remember or are recalled during hypnosis; real lives–the ones that we have to live now at this moment in physical reality; dream lives–the ones we live inside our dreams; metaphysical lives–the ones we live in our heads, in the astral, in our imaginations, etc, etc. And that’s a noninclusive list too.

I left Facebook because of some things that were occurring at the time which wasn’t best for me and made me unhappy. So I found Second Life, which was very much like one of my favorite games, The Sims, to bring myself out of depression and excess emotions. What I found on SL was a pretty cool world that made me happy and I had fun…until I realized that people will be people, no matter where they are.

Jane was a girl I took in as a minion in SL. We roleplayed vampires for Bloodlines. I loved her a lot and treated her as a daughter. Little did I know that everything I’ve been told by her was a lie…from her age (she claimed to be 23) to her life (parents died in a house fire; no relatives; twin brother has a 7 year old daughter; brother and sister alternated months working to have a baby sitter for the daughter/niece; was dumped by her boyfriend after finding out she was pregnant with twins in real life; got back together with the boyfriend; boyfriend was leaving to Japan; had blurred relationship with an SL player who fell in love with her; dumped the boyfriend for another SL player–a different one; had bad news that one of the twin babies weren’t going to survive; brother committed suicide due to the baby’s mother leaving him (but they weren’t even together nor did they live together); was being harassed and attacked on SL from ex-boyfriend who played on SL; niece is suddenly in Japan; niece is suddenly 5 years old and the 7 year old is someone else; lives in Florida instead of the midwest; brother and sister made fake accounts because they’re paranoid; has no social accounts at all except for hotmail and skype; brother and sister were given Japanese names like Rin and Rina by American parents who were named Lorena and James)…and the list went on.

*face palms*

That’s one dramatic complicated life to keep up with. Nothing she said was true and the only answer she had for any questions asked about her true self was, “why would I lie to you? I trust you.”

*shakes head*

From where do people create such lies and do they actually believe in them?

I have to admit that I’m a lot sassier these days. Most of it stems from learning how to stand up for myself. I still fall for the trap of being manipulated by others for a certain amount of time, but I am catching on quicker and quicker to the game.

Being forced to love someone through manipulation doesn’t mean that there isn’t love there, even when there wasn’t that type of love present in the beginning. And just like that, the worlds that we create for ourselves, we begin to believe in, even if we didn’t believe it in the beginning when we created it.

I learned invaluable lessons from Facebook and Second Life. Even the most innocent seeming of people can be the most wicked and hurtful. Sad sob stories are a way of controlling people through their sympathy and relation to pain, sadness, and bad things that occur in life. Suicide threats are a way of manipulating others. It might sound harsh, but people who want to kill themselves would’ve already done so. People who cry wolf, just want the attention, as sad as that may be. Any threat is a way of manipulation, no matter how subtle or blunt the threat is.

If standing up for myself makes me a bitch, then I’d gladly take that label any day than to succumb to the will and trickery of others. I am a lot harsher these days and a lot less tolerant of abuse in that way. I cry a lot less these days than I have in the past. And I remember less and less of those that needed to be left behind for my happiness and well being. Loving someone is a great thing, but when loving someone is causing you pain, you’ve got to let them go.

Many months ago, I downloaded a bunch of pictures of an ex-best friend, her mother, and their pets to print out on nice photo paper and send to her since she was incarcerated. I knew no one else would do it and she had no other family outside of prison walls. Even though we no longer spoke, I was going to do the nice and right thing. But I realized that that nice and right thing was for her, not for me. What did I get out of someone who hurt me badly, who I trusted and loved like one of my own sisters, and who I cared for and spared nothing that I wouldn’t give or do for her? Nothing. And so, for my sake, it was best if I started to do what was nice and right for myself, which meant that I was going to have to let go of her. It’s sad that she’s not getting out until 2021, that her entire family is incarcerated, and that she’s actually a decent person and a decent friend to everyone else…but none of that matters now. I won’t go back. And for what? To repeat the same pattern all over again? No thank you.

Some things, I’m not ready to face head on yet. An ex-friend had blocked me on Facebook since June 10th. We actually weren’t friends since March or April. I haven’t been on Facebook since I started playing SL almost a month ago. I came back and saw that I was unblocked. And because I wasn’t ready to deal with all the false emotions of a love I never wanted in the first place that was returning, I blocked the person. It didn’t matter that I was happy now or that I was in love with someone else now who loves me back and gives me the kind of love and relationship that I wanted and deserved. A manipulated love by a third party that I trusted and cared for and loved made everything all the worse. That third party, I didn’t block. I learned to stand up for myself against that third party and thus, have rid myself of the manipulations and lies. But until I can figure out what to do or until I can finally let go of the ex-friend and the emotions involved, that person will remained blocked.

People manipulate others for various reasons, some of them the most idiotic. The other night, a girl commented that she was going to kill herself. Her life didn’t even warrant anything worth dying over. She had a 3 year old son that she had been fighting the state to get back for the past 2 years because she said jealous friends of family called Child Protection Services because her house was “dirty”. Aside from other things that makes no sense like her son’s adoption to people who are now expecting a child of their own…she wanted to kill herself. Being sleep deprived and cranky, after much babble trying to calm her down, I said, “Since you’re going to kill yourself, let me tell you about Jesus”. She didn’t like that and threatened that she was calm and if I attacked her with Jesus, then she’d kill herself. My point was that she was going to do it anyway so why not tell her about Jesus and save her soul? I shrugged, commented that since she’s calm now, it was cool, but that if she did see God, she should tell Him that I tried and she didn’t want to hear it. Boy did she go off about not being calm if I brought up Jesus or God. So I simply said since she was calm and good, I was done trying to convince her not to kill herself and called it a night. I find it ironic that people who threaten self harm or death are still prideful and stubborn. This is a repeated pattern in my experience with others. When people want to die, I talk about Jesus. For some reason, they stop threatening death. And I’m the crazy one for talking about Jesus. *shakes head*

In SL, when I get unsolicited IM messages for sex or friendships and relationships, I usually kill any further IMs by simply asking if the person wants to be a vampire or a lycan. For some reason, people want sex, not to join a guild or a clan. It’s ironic and amusing to me that such a simple thing such as commitment will make someone run in the opposite direction.

Do people believe the lies they tell themselves?

I don’t really know, but I’m falling asleep now. I’m still working on dispelling the lies I’ve been misled to believe about myself and my life. I like things simple. I couldn’t keep up with all the lies if I told myself such things.

This ends on an unfinished, odd note. Screw it. I’m off to bed.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 11, 2014 in Diary, Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I Pity the Souls that Darkness Takes

We are mortal men pretending to be gods. A bit of power in our direction, and we suddenly are gods. How far have we fallen that we choose to believe in the darkness and know it’s darkness, than in the light where we can truly see?

I pity the souls that darkness takes,
The silent screams of utter hate.
Those words of false wisdom that fills my ears,
They say, “Listen, listen, listen here!

“Take no heed for this Christian God,
I know he’s false, you retard!
It’s all just lies, this Bible you read,
Why do you continue to believe?

“They step on the freedoms of women everywhere.
No talking in church, no disobeying us men here.
We are men and proud, so let us lead,
You are women, following us is where you’ll be.

“Don’t eat pork. Nothing unclean should touch you.
Follow the Sabbaths. Obey all of God’s rules.
Work six days, and rest on the seventh,
Be good and earn your way into heaven.

“How do you believe in something so false?
Only fools like you are truly lost!
Follow our way, for we are enlightened,
Come with us, have your minds brightened.

“We know because we have seen with our own eyes,
This God of yours is a complete lie.
We have dark magic we’ll share with you,
Listen to us. Listen to the truth.

“We are powerful and we hold this world together,
Keeping out all sorts of nasty creatures.
You do not know of our heavy burden,
Come with us and help us hold up the curtain.

“The veil! The veil! Help us to not let it fall.
Nasty wicked creatures wants to rule us all.
Leave your false Christian roots and forsake the lie,
I am the truth. I am the way. With me, you will never die.”

The darkness lies and blinds all in its shadows,
Making people arrogant and stubborn assholes.
Yet God is great and He forgives,
If people will humble themselves and choose to live.

The end is not yet, but it is near,
All with eyes to see and ears to hear,
Remember the truth that most deny,
God is King and in Christ is our ally.

I pity the souls that darkness takes,
Filled with so much pain and utter hate.
For a love they need that can only be fulfilled,
By God who created them according to His will.

Sad are the broken people with contrite hearts,
Arrogant, bitter, and angry, trying to keep God apart.
We mortal men who desire to be gods on earth,
Remember the tale told from our birth,

He is King alone in Heaven above,
He sent His son to die for us out of love.
So humble yourselves now and ask Him to forgive,
Let Jesus cleanse your sins, and in Him, live.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on July 7, 2014 in Diary, Poetry

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,