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America, A Nation of Fluffy Special Snowflakes

I was talking to British and German friends yesterday who asked me about a fellow American we used to be friends with. They haven’t seen him in a while after they told him to stop with the ranting on the presidential elections, his disagreement at Trump’s win for Presidency, his complaints about how unfairly him and his rainbow friends were being treated in the country, and his general dissatisfaction with his own life through blaming others for his circumstance and state. I haven’t talked to him since I was a Christian and he’d constantly bait me with religious memes and specifically tag me to ask for my opinion on controversial religious things which he could then point out in his favor of why God gives the holy approval for him to deliberately continue sinning against God. He was not good for my stress level and I’ve let him go as a friend long ago.

“I really think the bloke would do you lot some good,” said a British friend referring to President Trump. And I agreed. He would also do good for the international community.

Britain has always been the strongest ally of the United States. Unfortunately for the Brits, that connection means that if there’s some war hungry asshole as President who goes to war, the Brits would have to go to war too in support of the United States of America. And that kind of behavior from a President can lead to strained relationships especially when other countries have no problems with the countries we’re trying to make up lies about to invade or countries whose governments we’re rebelling against and trying to overthrow.

I reminded my friend of this. Trump would be better for international relations as he’s looking to connect to the international community in peace and friendship instead of a fucking egotistical dictator of the world, which we’ve been as a country to the entire world many times in the past. The entire Middle East is a breeding zone for islamic terrorists because we’re assholes and we’ve destroyed their countries, we created the islamic terrorists we’re now fighting against, and we’ve dismantled any sense of peace that region has with our constant bullshit meddling. Trump has a lot to clean up from previous presidents, but I believe he will clean up this mess we created and it starts with getting the fuck out of other countries and their businesses and how their governments are running. We have no business meddling in the affairs of others.

So even people in other countries thinks Trump is a good change for America. But yet, we have all this division in America. There’s more hate groups popping up now than ever before under the disguise of “love and peace” while they preach destruction and death and treason. What in the hell is wrong with America?

What’s wrong with us is that we are a generation of fucking idiots. And since stupid catches on like fire, the disgusting cesspool of filth also sucks in older generations who were taught better and who should know how to behave better. America and Americans have become a disgrace.

We are a nation of fools committed to our foolishness whose false sense of intelligence is so fucking roundabout that we somehow believe 8+5=10.

We are a nation of special snowflakes who cry and bitch and moan and then throw temper tantrums like five year olds because we don’t get our way in everything.

We are a nation of people like the guy my friends and I talked about, someone who lives in America, has a roof over their head, has a job, can afford all the brightly colored wigs he wears and the expensive makeup to cake his face in layers to look like a girl, who has clean water and working bathrooms, who uses the internet and makes phone calls, who eats well even and has help from friends and family if needed, someone who can be mean as fuck and disrespect other people and their beliefs, who baits people on purpose to arguments, who bullies others when they don’t agree with him, and yet still moans about how his life is such a fucking tragedy because of everyone else always discriminating against him when he’s not in fucking girl costume and other people don’t even know he dresses in drag because he hides it like a shameful skeleton in his closet.

We are a nation of fucking assholes who blatantly fucks people over and then cries like a pathetic kicked puppy when someone “hurts our feelings”.

I fucking hate people, more so now than before, not because of their skin color or what the fuck is in between their legs, but because they are fucking stupid and they behave in fucking stupid ways. People in America can’t get their heads out of their asses long enough to realize they’re not the fluffy special snowflakes they believe they are. There is no way I will ever condone this fucking mass hysteria trending snowflake syndrome bullshit. There is also no way I will ever fucking respect any of these people whose sole intentions are to hurt others through violence, through coercion, through any means necessary so they can pat themselves on the back for a job well done at becoming the scum of humanity under the disguise of peace and love. Fuck them and fuck their lies.

 
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Posted by on January 22, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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Twilight, Fifty Shades of Grey, and Why Women Repeatedly Put up With Abusive Relationships

Fifty Shades of Grey, the movie adaptation of E. L. James’ erotica, came out this past weekend, spurring millions of dollars in revenues and lots of reviews. I’ve always been vocal about my dislike of Fifty Shades of Grey and its predecessor, The Twilight Saga, which glorifies abusive relationships and aren’t appropriate for adults, let alone the younger girls that Twilight is aimed at as it’s target audience. James, who originally wrote Fifty Shades of Grey as Twilight fan fiction, took author Stephenie Meyer’s twisted Edward and Bella relationship and turned it into an even worse kind of relationship between Christian and Ana. For me, Fifty Shades of Grey and The Twilight Saga isn’t merely just fiction. It’s personal.

I grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood. I went to a middle school that was predominantly black. I’m Asian. It wasn’t easy to fit in. From a young age, I was taught that people of the same color usually tended to stick with one another: all the white kids, all the black kids, all the Hispanic kids, and yes, all us Asian kids as well. By middle school, there was more of us so that was great. I didn’t feel so bad then, but before that, it was hell trying to be nice to kids to have friends, to not be alone, and to not feel alone. I spent most of my childhood trying to please other people, which translated into an automatic mechanism that triggers in my relationships later on in my life. The thought process behind that mechanism is pretty much along the lines of, “if I can do this or that for someone, or prove myself valuable and worthy of them, then I won’t have to be alone”. As we can all see now, it’s a really messed up way of thinking, but we all still do it to a degree. We give in to peer pressure and do things we would’ve never done before. We tolerate the subtleties of abuse hidden behind promises and empty words from others that were meant to be nothing but a form of control over us.

It took me a long time to break out of that habit, the habit of letting others do whatever they wanted with me and to me just as long as they’re happy and okay. I’m still not as mean as I’d like to be, but I can now tell people to go screw themselves when I do catch the mind games and realize all the power plays for control of me. It’s all very subtle. Or it can be blatantly in your face like something I read today with a woman who is trying to appease a friend who was upset at her for apparently no reason. While she didn’t understand the friend’s anger, she still wanted the friend to be happy and she still wanted the best for that person, even when they basically told her the equivalent of, “fuck off“.

I’m not a stranger to those words. I used to cry about it. I used to be confused and not understand why someone was being so mean when all I wanted was to make them happy. It all stems back to my childhood and wanting friends which led to low self esteem and an overwhelming dependency on other people’s thoughts of me to validate my self worth. Reading what that woman wrote made me feel bad. I used to feel like that. I used to be the one who would try to make someone smile and think the world of them, even when all they wanted was candy I had or some other material thing. I wanted to say something to her, to that woman. I wanted to tell her the reason why it didn’t matter that her friend was upset, but why it did matter that she move on and not let such people control her emotions nor her life anymore.

It’s almost always about a boy.

Bella sees Edward and immediately starts obsessing about him. It’s not even that he’s into her, it’s that she created an ideal of him in her head simply based on how gorgeous he was. And in her ideal of him, he is actually a big, soft, cuddly teddy bear that wants love just as much as she does.

This is where all of us fail at relationships before there even could be any sort of relationship. We create versions of people in our minds that are suited to us, that are suited to our needs. Unfortunately, love is an incredible need that every person experiences. Love isn’t sex. And sex isn’t love. But because of love, many, many people will suffer abusive relationships all because of the ideal of someone they have clung on to inside their minds.The truth could be rather vocal like the woman and her friend. Instead of taking what was said and what happened for what it was, she held on to the hope that somehow, her love could change them and their behavior towards her. How I greatly wanted to shake her and tell her to snap out of her defeating daydream of someone else and what she hoped they were. It was much different from who they really were.

In Blood Lust, book two of the Turning Vampire Series, Marisa suffers a very controlling and physically abusive relationship at the hands of Alessander. Because he physically beats her, people reading that book can see that it’s domestic violence in its purest form: physical abuse. However, many people don’t realize that abuse isn’t only when someone is black and blue and almost dead from being beaten by their spouse/lover/friend/family member/etc. Abuse is any form of control of another. That could be as simple as convincing someone that they shouldn’t hang around a friend who has never done any harm or as complicated as manipulating someone like how Alessander manipulated Marisa.

One of my friends reading Blood Lust was greatly disgusted by Alessander and Marisa’s relationship. Although Marisa did learn how to stand up for herself and how to stop Alessander from hurting her, she went through all the steps that someone in an abusive relationship goes through. One of those main things is believing all the lies told by the other person. It’s odd how people are drawn to others who say no to them. Edward made it clear that he didn’t want Bella, and yet, she stalks him like a puppy, hoping he’d recant that whole episode where he ran off to get away from her and instead, declare his undying love for her. Christian made it clear to Ana that she was merely a play thing to him, a toy he wanted to use when he wanted and she had no influence in his life at all. He was influencing hers. However, despite all the signs of no, she still believed that deep down inside, he was a tortured soul who needed someone like her who could put up with his punishments and make him happy in the hopes that one day in some far off future, he’d confess his love for her. Alessander is a lot different from Edward and Christian. Instead of pushing Marisa away like how Edward did to Bella and Christian did to Ana, Alessander manipulated Marisa into thinking she wasn’t worth anything to anyone and that no one wanted her. Alessander was everything of the classic typical abuser in a romantic relationship that most people think of when they think of domestic abuse. They think of violence, of fights, of being put down and torn down. They think of male egos and arrogance. Alessander presented only one of the many multifaceted faces of abuse. Edward and Christian presented two more. All three were abusive. Edward creepily watched over Bella while she was asleep and kept tabs on her while she was awake. He listened in on other people’s thoughts to spy on her. Christian downright controlled Ana with his demands and the risk of “losing” whatever semi-resemblance of a relationship they had together. Alessander totally took it over board, but sadly, it’s not very far from the truth of how reality is for many people. Many people will never do what Marisa did. The concept of self preservation, self worth, self anything seems foreign to them.

It all starts in our heads.

As much as everyone wants to blame the more aggressive person in an abusive relationship, abuse actually starts with the person who allows themselves to be hurt. I’m not talking about the people who wake up one day to a black eye and don’t know how their relationship got that way. There’s that too and it’s wrong. I’m talking about us and how we have these expectational ideas of others. The woman believed her friend was simply having a bad day. Although she couldn’t understand why the friend was angry at her since she only strives to make the other person happy, it is well understood that whatever sort of relationship she has with that friend is largely one sided. I can’t really blame her for thinking the best or wanting to think the best about others, but the excuses that she makes for the friend’s behavior is something I’m familiar with. There’s a part of all of us that can see things as how they truly are. We will see bad friends as bad people. Yet, a different part of us holds on to these unrealistic ideas that our bad friend is somehow a good person and just going through a rough time. I was stuck in that circle for a while. I knew exactly what kind of friend my friend could be because I’ve watched her spend time with others, do things for others, be kind to others, share with others, and then, she spends a total of a few minutes saying hi to me and that’s it. She talks longer if she’s hungry and wants me to cook her food. Yet, knowing that she was a bad friend to me, I kept hoping that if I was nice back, she’d eventually act like a real friend. She never did and I had to finally accept that some people are great friends to others, but really bad friends to us. And even then, I still cried about it, because I knew she was a good person at heart. And that’s exactly the dilemma that this woman was having: her friend was a decently good person with a good heart and they were good friends with others, but the two of them didn’t get along well. Yet, knowing this, she still held on to that false hope that maybe that friend will change and treat her better as I thought my friend would surely see my worth and treat me better too. She didn’t.

We often are afraid to lose people for imagined potentials at what kind of relationship we could have with someone in the future.

I remember a girl from my childhood who hated me, but I wanted to be her friend so badly, that I was super nice to her all of the time. To describe our relationship, it was like Cole off of the movie, The Sixth Sense, and the bully Tommy who pretended to be friends with him in front of his mom. This girl pretended to be my friend in front of her mom. We’d get to school and she’d ditch me for all of her other friends. Her mom thought we were best friends. I thought we were best friends too. I didn’t understand that we weren’t until I was much older. That was a bad relationship. We didn’t physically fight. We didn’t hurt each other. But there was still a lot of misleading things and manipulations and abuse. In the end, we weren’t friends anymore and her mom came to my house and gave me back all the stuff I gave her daughter. The sad thing is, I had nothing to give to the woman as something her daughter gave me out of friendship. Back then, I also wasn’t brave enough to tell her mom what really happened. I still cared too much about what anyone thought of me.

Peer pressure is a huge thing for children. Being liked, making friends, feeling lonely…all of that affects everyone at some stage in their life. We can do without all the books that glorify abuse in relationships and tell us that we need someone else’s approval to be worth something. We’ve already told ourselves that enough as children. We hope for a, “I’m proud of you” from our parents and teachers. We hope for inclusion from our friends. And now we have popular books that tell us that independence is a lie and we need someone else to be complete.

The message in today’s world is that we cannot be strong without someone being weak. That’s the wrong message to send out to anyone, anywhere. I saw a meme today where some out of the closet atheist woman said, “I am happy that men wrote the Bible. That means that women didn’t.”

My reply was: “That’s sexist and quite frankly, a foolish thing to say. It took a man in order to birth that woman. It’s cool for men and women to be treated equally, but all this superiority bs simply needs to stop. She could’ve simply said she was an atheist instead of trying to belittle men to make her self worth as a woman greater. It shows that she has no self worth and that’s sad.

The opening poster said: “Oh BooHoo! You missed the point.”

In which I replied, “So I should acknowledge other people’s stupidity for a supposed point? No thanks. If someone’s going to make a stand for what they believe in, there’s no need to bash anyone else to make you or your religion or whatever you believe in as being better. She will die like the rest of us. Every human being will have the same ending: death, and there’s no escape from that.

So the OP responds with, “Freedom from religion certainly angers some folks, eh?

And the last thing I replied on that topic said, “It’s not about religion. It’s about people. Did I care that she was speaking against the Bible and that she’s atheist? Nope. Don’t twist my words into something you want it to be to better suit your own religious agendas. It’s not your freedom from religion that angers me. It’s my freedom of religion that angers you. That’s sad.

It’s really tiring when a lot of my pagan/atheist/non-christian friends talk about Christianity more than I do, and yet, they want to claim that Christians are the ones shoving our religion in their faces. I can’t tell whether they’re trying to convince everyone not to be a Christian by constantly talking about it, or that they’re trying to convince their selves of how they shouldn’t be a Christian by talking about Christianity all the time. Either way, let it go. It’s obsessive behavior and abusive to yourself. It’s not your freedom from religion that angers me. It’s my freedom of religion that angers you. And that is sad.

It’s late. I’m calling it a night. Stop the abuse and the acceptance of abuse in relationships.

 
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Posted by on February 17, 2015 in Book Reviews, Diary, Movies, Things Worth Fighting For

 

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A Conversation About God

This is a conversation between me and my good friend John about God. He gave me permission to repost his comments on Facebook here on my blog. I really liked how we both had an intelligent conversation without all the arguing that mostly comes with discussing religion. Thanks John! ^_^

  • Xao Thao That’s not true. And those reference links–one went to a Dutch YouTube page which has no consequence on the matter and the other went nowhere. New Testament documents are 99.5% accurate in relation to each other being 24,000 copies, compared to many other ancient manuscripts such as Homer’s Illiad which stands at a mere 95% accuracy out of 643 copies. Actual reference links for you: http://www.str.org/…/is-the-new-testament-text-reliable… and http://www.godandscience.org/apologetics/bibleorg.html

    About Mission & Values Ambassador Model STR Staff…
    str.org
  • Xao Thao It’s a lack of knowledge that destroys people, so has God said this very same thing and it’s proven to be true.
  • Xao Thao Not true either. Hell was created for the devil and his angels.
  • John Behrent Try this, then.

    John Behrent's photo.
  • Xao Thao Not true either. There was a reason why He flooded the world. And He didn’t kill everyone. He saved Noah and his wife, their sons and their wives.
  • Xao Thao You can throw me more memes made up by ignorant people to which the masses believe whole heartedly without reason nor actual knowledge. Popular opinion doesn’t doesn’t make something wrong right.
  • John Behrent Let’s think about this for a minute. Let’s go on the supposition that God is all-knowing, and always has been. That means that on Day One, he knew the consequences of putting the Tree of Knowledge in the garden of Eden. He knew the serpent would tempt Eve after he forbade her and Adam from eating from it. But he put it there anyway, then gave them the boot for doing what he knew they’d do. Does that really sound like something a good, kind, loving deity would do? Further, if he’s all-knowing, why did he spend so much time testing people’s faith? He knew who was loyal to him and who wasn’t, right? Or is he really imperfect and flawed?
  • John Behrent And also, I don’t care how much you want to glorify innocent sacrifice. If God is all-knowing and all-powerful, not to mention a loving deity, he’d have gotten out of his great cosmic Barcalounger and given Jesus a hand, instead of letting him be tortured to death. NO loving father let’s one of his children suffer.
  • Xao Thao It’s because people have free will and the ability to choose. Just because a parent knows that a child will choose wrong doesn’t mean that that parent doesn’t love that child. And because a good parent would discipline their children when they do wrong, it by no means mean that that parent loves their children any less. Parents allow children to make their own mistakes because that is the only way that any child will learn and grow. Free will gives independence to people. They have the ability to do what they want to do and therefore, even if a parent wanted to hold on to a child and protect them from all the wrong things in the world, that child will find ways to do them regardless. So yes, punishment is indeed needed to correct wrong behavior so that children grow up wiser and do less wrong things.
  • Xao Thao There are no innocent sacrifices. Because of Adam and Eve, all have sinned and are born in sin. Therefore, Jesus was needed as a pure and holy sacrifice because he IS God in the flesh. A loving deity is also a fierce deity that protects and is jealous. Mankind wants to mold God down to our standards so that we are able to understand Him, but He knew our inability to be anywhere close to His great magnificence and became flesh for us so He could understand us. He suffered for us. And yet, without that suffering, millions more would be damned today.
  • John Behrent Firstly, the Eden thing proves that God set Adam and Eve up. They were the Bible’s first patsies. And secondly, I don’t see how ‘allowing a child to make their own mistakes’ equates to being okay with someone else torturing your own child to death. The fact that God did nothing makes me doubt his omnipotence.
  • John Behrent Xao, look around you, really look at the world. Look at what politicians and the wealthy are doing to it, and to innocent people. Without remorse, pity, or regret. Can you really tell me we’re not damned anyway, with the state of the world? And still, God does…nothing.
  • Xao Thao The fact that mankind wrestles with God daily and in their ignorance and arrogance (seemingly, they believe they know better than Him who created them), makes me doubt why God bothers to save. However, despite my own harsh opinions of humanity, it’s done. Salvation is here for those who will accept it. We can argue God’s goodness or people believing that He does nothing while the world crumbles and rots to pieces, but it is because of US that the world is in shambles. People want to blame God for bad things that other bad people do. The Crusades is often used as a device against God saying He allowed millions to be slaughtered under His name. No, that’s not even true. The Crusades were a battle campaign created by wicked men in whose hearts were thoughts of evil continually, who under the false guise that God was their leader, sent out and persecuted Christians as their main targets out of the millions that they’ve slaughtered in cold blood. There is a Just God in heaven and believe me that He does not turn a blind eye to all the evil and wickedness of mankind. There is a Judgement Day for all and whether it satisfies you or me that “decent” people never get anything good in their lives while the wicked prosper, it is not up for us to deal out judgement. Vengeance is the Lord’s and He will repay.
  • John Behrent No, man doesn’t wrestle with God. Man wrestles against man. Why? For control. For power. For objects and titles that won’t follow them to the next world anyway. Let’s just be honest, we’re not going to agree on a lot in this conversation. I’m not even a Christian of any stripe. But I’m at peace with the fact that that’s what’s right for you. Are we cool?
  • Xao Thao We’re always cool. I thought we were having a really good conversation that I was going to copy everything down and save it. John, man wrestles with God every day when man believes that they know what God should be doing for them or for the world. We want God to do things our way when we want them to be done and then we throw a tantrum and say God is unloving when we don’t get what we want. God knows what is best for us. And it is because of this that certain things are allowed in our life and certain things are not. Suffering, yes, is allowed in all of our lives, not as a test to how much we love Him, but a test to how much He loves us that He will in all our trials and troubles, make a way out for us. We are not defeated. We are still here. And no matter how bad or sad or mad we are or the world around us is, we will overcome in Him. People don’t have to be Christians to believe in God. I always knew God existed as a little girl, growing up in a household full of shamans, and I wasn’t a Christian until 6 years ago. Everything in my life had to go exactly as they did for me to reach the point where I would choose Him. And I’ve rejected God many, many times. So many times, I can’t count. But, His great mercy saved me. And albeit, I’m not a good Christian, but I know better. Meaning I know what I should be like. Many Christians will be in hell and they will be very surprised. Being a Christian doesn’t mean conforming to a large religion that in today’s world, conforms to the world and their beliefs, but being a Christian means following Christ. People can be Christians without church, without organized religion, without all that extra mankind made mess of what Christianity should be like or should be about. I pray one day that everyone is saved, although I know that will never be true. Despite whether I like someone or not (I’m pretty antisocial and mean), it would make me happy to see less people in hell and more in heaven, even if they were supposedly my worst enemies. *hugs*
  • Wendy Booth Just gonna throw this curve ball in here…at no particular person. Religion is SO SO different than spirituality. Spirituality is just a partial experience of all-that-is. All spiritual experience is incomplete, because it is not possible to know the whole of God. I’m inclined to believe that a truly spiritual person will (understanding his/her experiences are so incomplete) very warily eye someone or something who would deem to have specific details of things he/she could not have experienced him/herself. That’s not to imply that ‘faith’ is a bad thing. But even faith should be seeded in some fact and reason. At its best moments (which are rare), religion is never more than a very DULL reflection of any God – in a tiny little mirror made by the hand of a tiny little man.
 
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Posted by on November 2, 2014 in Diary

 

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