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Why I Hate the Hate Group Women’s March

I’m a woman who doesn’t agree with all the new trending hate groups that are popping up all over America in recent years. The Women’s March is one such hate group who has garnered millions of fans made up of men and women and all sorts of people with identity and gender crisis issues in between. The hate group Women’s March however, has a special place in my shriveled blackened heart of hearts because it’s a group which tries to claim to stand for all women. Well, they’re definitely not fucking standing up for this woman because I can stand up for myself without their hate and their bullshit.

What the hate group Women’s March really is is a disgrace to all women everywhere. From Madonna wanting to blow up the White House to Ashley Judd’s poem of being a nasty woman but not as nasty as President Donald Trump’s daughter Ivanka being a sex symbol to her father, to all the trash left behind by millions of people who littered in the streets and didn’t care, to the blatant message of treason of “standing up and fighting against” the President of the United States of America, to the supposed issues that women face today in America which is nothing compared to what women face in other countries around the world.

The hate group Women’s March creates a division in genders, promoting the discrimination of all males in favor of females by constantly creating the illusion that all females are victims. Does that plan sound familiar to anyone? The hate group, Black Lives Matter, did the same thing by creating a division between skin color and promoting the discrimination of all whites and people of lighter skin color in favor of all blacks and people of a darker skin color by constantly creating the illusion that all blacks and people of a darker skin color are victims.

I will always call hate groups for what they really are, hate groups. Here are some ways to recognize them.

Hate groups pretend to promote peace and love, but their messages are of spreading fear and violence and destruction and harm to others. “We just want equality for all women in America,” the hate group Women’s March would say. “We’re fighting to protect our rights and our children’s rights to having control over our bodies. Our vaginas are ours and we decide what we can do with them.” The actual message that the hate group Women’s March really says is this, “All men are chauvinistic pigs who can’t control their penises so we have to assume all men are rapists. Trump is a man so let’s blow up the White House so we can get a vagina in there who is like us. Trump’s ten year old son is a man so let’s compare him to a school shooter because obviously, men are more violent than women and he’ll grow up to be a mass murderer anyway.” Hate groups like Women’s March are sick and perverted. Once they hook people in with their fake message of spreading peace, they begin their real work on creating fear and causing violence and destruction and harm to others. Any group that victimizes children like the hate group Women’s March is just sickening.

Hate groups hide behind the excuse that they are the victims while victimizing everyone else. “Men rape women all the time. It’s just not accounted for. All men are rapists,” the hate group Women’s March would say. While pretending to be victims of rape, women paint a solid picture that all men are rapists and women must therefore hate all men and protect their selves from all men. “Women don’t get equal pay as men because we’re women,” is one of the many tired excuses of feminists everywhere. If women worked as hard as men did doing the same jobs and putting in the same amount of effort, then women would get paid the same, but they don’t. The wage gap isn’t because a man gets paid more to have a penis. The wage gap is because women choose not to work as hard as men do doing the same job because they have family and friends and other things that they want to do instead of putting in the hours at work. A woman would more likely choose their family and their children and their friends over working more or doing more work. So all these supposed women’s issues that exist because men are oppressing women are a load of bullshit. Women, stop fucking drinking every Friday night with friends and you might actually get that pay raise you’ve been looking for when you work as hard as the other people doing that same job.

Hate groups demand special privileges. “We deserve to be able to choose what to do with the growing baby inside our bodies that we got from having unprotected sex because we already made the choice to have sex, but we don’t want to bear the responsibilities of becoming actual adults and taking care of that child and raising that child,” the hate group Women’s March would say in their defense of a woman’s right to an abortion. “It’s still our bodies and no man is going to tell us we can’t kill the living child inside because it’s our bodies and our vaginas.” If retroactive abortion existed, the world would be a better place without such selfish and lame ass excuses of people who desires to kill a life without the consequences of being punished for murder. The truth is that while the hate group Women’s March pretends to be the sad victim of being born a second rate citizen due to their vagina in a world of penises, their only goal is to oppress and force special privileges to be made because of their fucking vagina. If women stopped having sex, period, they wouldn’t get pregnant. But no, all men are rapists and all pregnancies are caused by rapists so as a woman, they’re totally fucking innocent of being the sluts they are and opening their vaginas to penises. Women, stop fucking people and you wouldn’t have to worry about an abortion. A woman using her vagina as an excuse to demand reparations for false perceptions of social injustice because they still ultimately choose their circumstances doesn’t make their fucking vagina a valid excuse to murder a life because a baby is inconvenient to that fucking vagina who fucked around and got pregnant. Women are fucking drama queens. “I have a vagina. I’m special. I need special rules that puts me above everyone else because I’m better than everyone else.” This fucking type of behavior of a woman who flaunts their vagina as the be all, end all is disgusting and is absolutely disrespectful to all women everywhere. Your fucking vagina is not that fucking special. Get your heads out of your asses or should I say, get your heads out of your vaginas.

Hate groups always use famous names to validate their false causes and make their issues and concerns seem real and true. Madonna, the queen of pop who shamelessly said to the crowd at Madison Square Garden and to everyone watching that she’d give them a blow job if they voted for Hillary Clinton, also said that she has thought an awful lot about blowing up the White House because Trump is now president. While many people try to claim that she wasn’t serious saying either of those things, someone like Madonna who has followers and fans in the millions, is able to convince people that it’s okay to do such things. Her solicitation of oral sex for Hillary votes during the Presidential campaign and her treasonous call to blowing up the White House is by no means a joke or something to be taken lightly of.

Ashley Judd, a once upon a time decent actress, exclaimed she was a nasty woman to the cheers of hundreds of thousands of people at the hate group Women’s March. She continued to read a poem exclaiming how nasty of a woman she was, but that she’s not as nasty as President Trump who is a man. And while hundreds of thousands of stupid people are cheering on such disgusting behavior, they fail to realize that the disgusting behavior is the truth of this entire hate group, that there is no love and peace, that there is only hatred and ugliness.

Hate groups always need to point the finger to divert attention from what they’re really doing and they’ll be as bold to blame someone else for what they are doing. Actress America Ferrera said at the hate group Women’s March, “It’s been a heart-rending time to be both a woman and an immigrant in this country. Our dignity, our character, our rights have all been under attack and a platform of hate and division assumed power yesterday. But the president is not America. His cabinet is not America. Congress is not America. We are America. And we are here to stay.” It’s a shame actresses don’t have to be very intelligent. The platform of hate and division she’s talking about is really the hate group Women’s March whose sole purpose is to divide the country into fucking vaginas and bad penises, except for the penises that claim to be fake vaginas in this life or another life or whenever they feel like cutting it off. What a hate group does is instead of focusing on valid issues and concerns, they turn around and start blaming. “President Trump has a penis. President Trump is bad. President Trump’s cabinet has men in there. And those men have penises. And penises are bad.” Fucking hell. Isn’t it tiring to try and blame your own choices on someone else? Most of the bullshit women’s issues stem from choices women made. Women choose to fucking have sex. Baby results. Women kills babies because it’s an inconvenient truth of them opening their fucking legs. Women choose to party and go to clubs and drinks with friends instead of working. Work productivity declines because of lack of sleep and hangovers and other issues from a choice women made. Women puts in less effort at work. Women gets paid less. Oh, it’s suddenly men’s fault women don’t do so well at work because they choose to prioritize other things above work. Fucking fluffy special snowflakes who never take responsibility for their selves and simply want to blame everyone else for shitty choices they made in life.

Scarlett Johansson said, “President Trump, I did not vote for you. That said, I respect that you are you our President-elect and I want to be able to support you. But first I ask that you support me, support my sister, support my mother, support my best friends and all of all girlfriends. Support the men and women here today that are anxiously awaiting to see how your next moves may drastically affect their lives. Support my daughter who may actually, as a result of the appointments you have made, grow up in a county that is moving backwards, not forward, and who may potentially not have the right to make choices for her body and her future that your daughter Ivanka has been privileged to have.” While I respect her for calling him President Trump, she’s not that bright either. How in the world is a woman potentially not able to make choices for her body and her future? As far as I’m aware, America has not become a one-child policy country like China where millions of baby girls are discarded or killed because of their gender. America is not a women genital mutilated area like Mali. America is not a country where little girls are sold into prostitution and sex trafficking like all the countries of southeast Asia (Laos, Thailand, Cambodia, Philippines, Vietnam). America is not a country where women are gang raped to pay for men’s crimes like Pakistan. America is not a country where women have unequal education rights like Afghanistan. So exactly what kind of “privileges” that American women may not all of a sudden have? Oh, fucking abortion because in a country where women are able to do everything a man can, where women have equal opportunities for education and pay and being able to wake up and be dressed as slutty as they want, women are fucking worried about not being able to kill babies so they don’t have to live with the consequences of their actions. Women in America are a fucking joke. I will cheer when President Trump defunds Planned Parenthood and its baby murdering factories.

Singer Alicia Keys also said the same idiotic thing, “We will not allow our bodies to be owned and controlled by men in government or men anywhere for that matter.” Every woman in America with their fucking stupid first world problems needs to educate their selves on how women in other countries live and be active to help support those women who are way worse off than any fucking woman in America would ever be. Women in the Middle East are beheaded for having sex before marriage. Guess how many American women would’ve been dead if women had no rights as the hate group Women’s March is claiming? I would say every fucking vagina marching would be dead. But America isn’t the Middle East. Aren’t you vaginas lucky you live here and not there? Aren’t you happy that the only complaint you have is not being able to murder babies you got yourself pregnant with? Women in America with their first world problems are indeed a fucking joke.

All in all, I’m pretty sure the hate group Women’s March won’t be the last hate group that springs up to try and divide and conquer this nation and it’s people. Unfortunately, the people of America isn’t all that smart, at least not the millions that are following such hate groups around like loyal dogs. But, there’s still hope. People can learn to start to recognize hate groups for what they really are and people can stop accommodating and condoning and especially tolerating such hate groups and their agendas. It’s time to stand up for yourself and not allow some fucking hate group like Women’s March to stand up for you because you’re a woman. I’m a woman and I say fuck no to the hate group Women’s March.

 
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Posted by on January 22, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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Liebster Award Nomination

liebster-award

I’ve been nominated by my awesome friend, Jen Ponce for the Liebster award. The Liebster Award is a way to give blogs more exposure and a greater audience. It’s passed from blogger to blogger and it’s a cool way to find new blogs to follow. So let’s talk a bit about the amazing Jen.

Jennifer Ponce does more than write incredible works of horror (like her fantastic thrillers, The Bazaar and Bug Queen, to name a few). She’s also an advocate for victims of sexual abuse, helping to bring awareness to sexual and domestic violence and even won the Dove’s Prevention Advocate of the Year Award.She’s an avid reader, intense crochet powerhouse, and a wonderful mother and wife while keeping her long tresses in an array of beautiful styles. You can check out her website here: Jenniferponce.com.

And now, onward to her ten questions!

1. What do you think about mistakes? Both in your art and in life?

Mistakes are one of those things that happens no matter how careful you are, no matter how many times you have read the same words, trying to thoroughly edit your story. In life, mistakes cause us stress and trouble; mistakes as easy and simple as misunderstanding what someone said or misinterpreting what was said. As a writer and a reader, mistakes are one of those things that can help hinder the reader and have them misunderstand or misinterpret what was said. However, I do believe that mistakes don’t make everything terribly awful in our art or in life. Of course a reader will pick up mistakes while reading a book. Will that reader put down that book because there’s a typo or a creative use that seems insignificant? Of course not. The reader will see the mistake, recognize it for what it is, and continue reading because the book is good. As with life, that’s what we do too. We see mistakes, acknowledge them, and continue moving forward because life is good.

2. Do you play video games and, if so, what’s your favorite? If you don’t play, what types of games do you like?

I most definitely play video games! Favorite game of all time that I could repeatedly play: Breath of Fire III. Other high favorites that I love to play: Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Final Fantasy 7, and any of the Mario Bros.

3. What kind of character would you be in a horror movie? The screamer? The cool one? The first to get murdered? The bad guy?

I would most definitely be the first one to get murdered. I’m like the most forgetful, trustworthy, idiot there ever was. Yeah, it’s a zombie apocalypse, but I would most likely open the door and leave it open because I’ve forgotten there’s blood-thirsty zombies outside. Luckily, I have an amazing boyfriend who would do anything to keep me alive, until I become a zombie. Then his motives are questionable. *lol*

But really, I would like to think of myself as the bad guy. I’m pretty unconventional in my way of thinking. I’m always yelling about ghost movies and how people who die don’t come back as ghosts to terrorize the ghosts that killed them and are now trying to kill their family, friends, loved ones, etc, etc. I’d be one pissed off super ghost that would chase and torture and torment the ghost or whatever creepy thing killed my character. My train of thought normally goes along the lines of, Yeah, so you want to kill me and everyone I know? That’s cool. But let me tell you what happens after you’ve freed me from the confines of this mortal body. I will chase you, capture you, imprison you, and torture you for all of eternity because that is how much rage I have for you having irrational rage against me and my loved ones for no damn reason at all. Let’s play cat and mouse forever after and you are the mouse. So yeah, I’d like to think of myself as first to die because then, I can prevent all other unnecessary deaths.

4. What are your favorite types of stories?

I love all stories, favoring fantasy most. Give me a good dragon novel or a good coming of age children’s story about a rebellious teen who finds their way in the world by saving a completely different world. I like books with substance, with meanings and lessons to be learned. I don’t care for excessive sex or gore as plot fillers. I like an actual plot and I like seeing character development: how a character changed and grew and overcame.

5. What’s your favorite fairy tale and what makes it so?

I’m pretty obsessed with fairy tales. I’m a huge fan of the Grimm brothers, of Andrew Lang, of even Disney, which has basis in myths, legends, and fairy tales. I don’t think I have a particular favorite, but if I had to choose, it would be a tie between two stories: East of the Sun and West of the Moon and One Eye, Two Eyes, Three Eyes. East of the Sun and West of the Moon tells about a girl who is betrothed to an enchanted bear whom she didn’t trust and betrayed and had to travel on a journey far, far away in order to get him back. One Eye, Two Eyes, Three Eyes is very similar to Cinderella, except that there’s a witch and each girl has one eye, two eyes, and three eyes. It’s such an interesting read that anyone who doesn’t know that story should go Google it and read it. Actually, I’ll link those stories.

6. Do you like books that make you cry or ones that make you laugh and why?

I like both, actually. I laugh and cry so much when I read that to someone viewing far away, I seem mad, but it’s quite refreshing to be so affected by a story that you do cry and you do laugh. If I do either of those things, it means that the author has done an excellent job at immersing me into that storybook world.

7. You’ve just stumbled upon a portal to another world. What would that world be like and what would happen to you there?

Oh, goodness! I don’t know, really. The possibilities are endless! I’d like to think I survive the new world, but I may not. I used to travel worlds, in my mind, and the way I traveled to them was through portals. I imagined all worlds to be very much like our own, in that there are humans whether magic users, shifters, weres, or any number of other humanly human creatures. It would be a similar world with a bit of magic. There has always got to be magic. And I, being the main character that I am, would always find myself rescuing some poisoned king or fighting an army of winged vampire creatures. I would save that world, or the small part I was in, and go on to live there forever because a way home cannot be found.

8. Dragon or unicorn?

I cannot choose! I am in love with both!

9. Would you rather make a lot of money doing what you hate or make a pittance doing what you love?

If I hate something, I wouldn’t be doing it so it would have to be something I love for barely any wage at all.

10. If you ever got arrested, what would it be for?

I’d join Robin Hood’s gang of Merry Men (and Women!) and rob the rich to give to the poor.

 
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Posted by on February 3, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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My Thoughts on Christianity, Homosexuality, and Marriage Equality

This is a conundrum.

I am only speaking from my opinion, my perspective, so anything I say shouldn’t be correlated to any group of people nor should my words be representative of any group of people. This is all just me. With that said, I’ll start.

I’m a Christian. I believe homosexuality is a sin. I support marriage equality for all human beings.

Many people automatically think, “oh, she’s a Christian so she is against gay marriage”. It’s a false misconception. The misconception occurs because Christianity is based on the teachings of the Bible and the Bible clearly states wrong things that we as followers, aren’t supposed to do or aren’t supposed to take part in. It’s a conflict of belief and personal preferences.

How can I be a Christian, believe homosexuality is a sin, and still support gay marriage?

The thing about Christianity is that calling someone a sinner isn’t an insult. It’s an accepted belief that everyone is a sinner. We’ve all done wrong things. It’s normal to be a sinner because no one is perfect. It’s like saying, “you have blood” or “there’s a brain in your head”. Being a sinner isn’t a degrading and insulting thing. Rather, it acknowledges that we’re imperfect beings that need a Savior.

People often forget that homosexuality isn’t the only sexual sin in the Bible. There’s seven, one of which I truly have forgotten by now so I’ll just leave unnamed. Surprisingly, it isn’t masturbation. Masturbation isn’t a sexual sin. There’s adultery, fornication, prostitution, homosexuality, incest, and beastiality. Adultery is sex outside of marriage. Fornication is sex before marriage. Prostitution is sex for money. Homosexuality is sex with the same sex. Incest is sex within the immediate family. And beastiality is sex with animals.

People have often said to me, “how can you be so against love? It says don’t eat shellfish and pigs in the Bible and people do that. How do you just pick and choose what you want when it’s convenient for you?”

The people who ask these questions are often defensive. That means one big thing: they’re not listening to me. Regardless of what I say, all they hear is, “she’s a Christian and a hypocrite and a bigot and against gay marriage.” If I say I’m not against gay marriage, the words totally fly over their heads because they’re not listening. They’re angry and upset and on the defense.

It’s a common misconception to anyone who doesn’t understand the Bible that sexual sins doesn’t equal food regulations. It’s a hard concept for many to grasp because it does state that Jews weren’t allowed to eat shellfish and pigs and fish without scales and things that were named unclean. It was meant to keep them from doing wrong. People around them were eating all these things that they couldn’t eat. If they ate them, then they’d also hang out more with the people around them, get married to the people who lived around them, and eventually, turn away from God by worshiping other gods of the people around them. The laws were in place so the Jewish people could keep themselves separated from the people around them.

In the new Testament, when Paul was recruiting Romans and everyone else not Jewish, it was said that for the people who understood that it isn’t what goes into your body that defiles you (makes you unclean), then they could bless whatever food was put before them and eat. To those who were a bit weaker of faith and who saw that eating such foods might in some way defile them, then for them not to eat. Jesus himself said that it wasn’t what went into our bodies that defiled us because it goes in through our mouths and out the other end and cast away into nothingness. But it’s the things that come from our mouths (words and blessings and curses) that defile us because they come from the heart, for out of the heart comes evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, and blasphemies.

Sexual sins are very different from eating foods. Sex serves for two purposes: procreation and reproduction, and the joining of two into one flesh. We all know about the having babies part, but when two people become one, it’s a very different thing (spiritually speaking). It can be dangerous because people are vessels. Vessels for God and vessels for other things. Spirits can inhabit people and not in the way you see on tv and not by those kinds of possessions. Most people walk around with spirits attached to them and they don’t know it.These spirits can transfer from one person to the next. This occurs by touch. In reference to sexual sins, it’s like spiritually sexually transmitted diseases. You probably don’t know you have it and you’ll probably never show up with any of the symptoms, but you’ve been infested and invaded.

While people often associate homosexuality to being the only sexual sin, they’re very wrong. Adultery, a sexual sin, cannot occur without marriage. I totally support marriage for heterosexual couples. And in a way, that supports the presence of adultery. Without marriage, adultery wouldn’t exist. Marriage in itself is really to stop people from sinning so much. Marriage is a barrier to sexual sins because it allows two people to safely have sex inside a marriage and to have a healthy relationship because of marriage.

I’m a firm believer in marriage equality and equal rights for all people regardless of race, sex, religion, color, sexual orientation, etc, etc. I am also a very stubborn and outspoken person about things I am passionate about. I am a huge supporter of freedom because no one is going to tell me what I can and cannot do and what I can and cannot say. I do not like mass control. Not allowing gays the right to marriage or to tax breaks or to adoptions is a form of controlling the masses. It’s a form of religious control in a world where there is a supposed freedom of religion because people are imposing their beliefs and ideas of marriage upon others. It’s a form of oppression because as human beings, gays should have every right that any other person is allowed. That means freedom from hatred and violence. I also see this a lot with race and color. It’s sad that individuals want to dictate whether a person lives or dies based on their skin color or their ethnicity. No one has the right to take a life, not even their own life, in my opinion.

I’m a firm believer in letting people learn on their own. We all do bad things. Murder. Adulteries. Thefts, Fornications. False Witnesses. Blasphemies. Evil thoughts. Etc, etc. While one wrong may be judged more harshly according to the laws of man, God sees all sins as being the same. Rebellion is the same as witchcraft. Stubborness is equated to iniquity (not doing what God specifically says to do) and also to idolatry (worshiping other gods). Who would’ve ever thought that stubborness was a sin? Well, here it is, a sin. So while we’re sitting here judging homosexuals for their sins and trying to prevent them from equal rights, we ourselves are all at fault of something. No one is preventing us from getting married so why should we feel a right or an entitlement to imposing our beliefs upon others and prevent them from marriage and equal rights? It’s wrong. It’s very hypocritical and unjust.

I try very hard not to judge others for their wrong doings. I am no better than they are. I’m actually much, much worse then any one of them. I’m a firm believer in letting God decide what is right and what is wrong. My human intelligence is limited. I have no omniscience. Good and bad to me are simply words, words that changes meaning with popular culture and whatever is the in thing to do. There are many things that I think is wrong although no one else seems to have a problem with it, and many things I think is right although no one else seems to agree with me on it. Therefore, I leave people in God’s hands. Mine are not capable enough to deal with someone so precious as a life. I would mess it up. I would totally screw it all up and mess it up bad. So for all the things I don’t know and I don’t understand, I let God handle it.

Love isn’t always an easy thing. It’s not always happy and blissful. It’s harsh at times. It’s punishing at other times. It’s suffering many times over. But love is the most beautiful thing there is. It may be difficult at times, but it is encouraging and uplifting and good and hopeful. I do not understand how oppression, corruption, control, and abuse is in any way a form of love, even a form of tough love.It’s not. How can we show love with so much hatred? How can we show love with so much violence? How do we even demand that someone else cannot have the same rights as ourselves? Love isn’t taught through war. Love isn’t taught through hate. Love is compassion and kindness. Love is patience and joy.

I’m tired and I’m off to bed. I wish for world peace. Let’s all be at peace with one another.
 
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Posted by on April 29, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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Twilight, Fifty Shades of Grey, and Why Women Repeatedly Put up With Abusive Relationships

Fifty Shades of Grey, the movie adaptation of E. L. James’ erotica, came out this past weekend, spurring millions of dollars in revenues and lots of reviews. I’ve always been vocal about my dislike of Fifty Shades of Grey and its predecessor, The Twilight Saga, which glorifies abusive relationships and aren’t appropriate for adults, let alone the younger girls that Twilight is aimed at as it’s target audience. James, who originally wrote Fifty Shades of Grey as Twilight fan fiction, took author Stephenie Meyer’s twisted Edward and Bella relationship and turned it into an even worse kind of relationship between Christian and Ana. For me, Fifty Shades of Grey and The Twilight Saga isn’t merely just fiction. It’s personal.

I grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood. I went to a middle school that was predominantly black. I’m Asian. It wasn’t easy to fit in. From a young age, I was taught that people of the same color usually tended to stick with one another: all the white kids, all the black kids, all the Hispanic kids, and yes, all us Asian kids as well. By middle school, there was more of us so that was great. I didn’t feel so bad then, but before that, it was hell trying to be nice to kids to have friends, to not be alone, and to not feel alone. I spent most of my childhood trying to please other people, which translated into an automatic mechanism that triggers in my relationships later on in my life. The thought process behind that mechanism is pretty much along the lines of, “if I can do this or that for someone, or prove myself valuable and worthy of them, then I won’t have to be alone”. As we can all see now, it’s a really messed up way of thinking, but we all still do it to a degree. We give in to peer pressure and do things we would’ve never done before. We tolerate the subtleties of abuse hidden behind promises and empty words from others that were meant to be nothing but a form of control over us.

It took me a long time to break out of that habit, the habit of letting others do whatever they wanted with me and to me just as long as they’re happy and okay. I’m still not as mean as I’d like to be, but I can now tell people to go screw themselves when I do catch the mind games and realize all the power plays for control of me. It’s all very subtle. Or it can be blatantly in your face like something I read today with a woman who is trying to appease a friend who was upset at her for apparently no reason. While she didn’t understand the friend’s anger, she still wanted the friend to be happy and she still wanted the best for that person, even when they basically told her the equivalent of, “fuck off“.

I’m not a stranger to those words. I used to cry about it. I used to be confused and not understand why someone was being so mean when all I wanted was to make them happy. It all stems back to my childhood and wanting friends which led to low self esteem and an overwhelming dependency on other people’s thoughts of me to validate my self worth. Reading what that woman wrote made me feel bad. I used to feel like that. I used to be the one who would try to make someone smile and think the world of them, even when all they wanted was candy I had or some other material thing. I wanted to say something to her, to that woman. I wanted to tell her the reason why it didn’t matter that her friend was upset, but why it did matter that she move on and not let such people control her emotions nor her life anymore.

It’s almost always about a boy.

Bella sees Edward and immediately starts obsessing about him. It’s not even that he’s into her, it’s that she created an ideal of him in her head simply based on how gorgeous he was. And in her ideal of him, he is actually a big, soft, cuddly teddy bear that wants love just as much as she does.

This is where all of us fail at relationships before there even could be any sort of relationship. We create versions of people in our minds that are suited to us, that are suited to our needs. Unfortunately, love is an incredible need that every person experiences. Love isn’t sex. And sex isn’t love. But because of love, many, many people will suffer abusive relationships all because of the ideal of someone they have clung on to inside their minds.The truth could be rather vocal like the woman and her friend. Instead of taking what was said and what happened for what it was, she held on to the hope that somehow, her love could change them and their behavior towards her. How I greatly wanted to shake her and tell her to snap out of her defeating daydream of someone else and what she hoped they were. It was much different from who they really were.

In Blood Lust, book two of the Turning Vampire Series, Marisa suffers a very controlling and physically abusive relationship at the hands of Alessander. Because he physically beats her, people reading that book can see that it’s domestic violence in its purest form: physical abuse. However, many people don’t realize that abuse isn’t only when someone is black and blue and almost dead from being beaten by their spouse/lover/friend/family member/etc. Abuse is any form of control of another. That could be as simple as convincing someone that they shouldn’t hang around a friend who has never done any harm or as complicated as manipulating someone like how Alessander manipulated Marisa.

One of my friends reading Blood Lust was greatly disgusted by Alessander and Marisa’s relationship. Although Marisa did learn how to stand up for herself and how to stop Alessander from hurting her, she went through all the steps that someone in an abusive relationship goes through. One of those main things is believing all the lies told by the other person. It’s odd how people are drawn to others who say no to them. Edward made it clear that he didn’t want Bella, and yet, she stalks him like a puppy, hoping he’d recant that whole episode where he ran off to get away from her and instead, declare his undying love for her. Christian made it clear to Ana that she was merely a play thing to him, a toy he wanted to use when he wanted and she had no influence in his life at all. He was influencing hers. However, despite all the signs of no, she still believed that deep down inside, he was a tortured soul who needed someone like her who could put up with his punishments and make him happy in the hopes that one day in some far off future, he’d confess his love for her. Alessander is a lot different from Edward and Christian. Instead of pushing Marisa away like how Edward did to Bella and Christian did to Ana, Alessander manipulated Marisa into thinking she wasn’t worth anything to anyone and that no one wanted her. Alessander was everything of the classic typical abuser in a romantic relationship that most people think of when they think of domestic abuse. They think of violence, of fights, of being put down and torn down. They think of male egos and arrogance. Alessander presented only one of the many multifaceted faces of abuse. Edward and Christian presented two more. All three were abusive. Edward creepily watched over Bella while she was asleep and kept tabs on her while she was awake. He listened in on other people’s thoughts to spy on her. Christian downright controlled Ana with his demands and the risk of “losing” whatever semi-resemblance of a relationship they had together. Alessander totally took it over board, but sadly, it’s not very far from the truth of how reality is for many people. Many people will never do what Marisa did. The concept of self preservation, self worth, self anything seems foreign to them.

It all starts in our heads.

As much as everyone wants to blame the more aggressive person in an abusive relationship, abuse actually starts with the person who allows themselves to be hurt. I’m not talking about the people who wake up one day to a black eye and don’t know how their relationship got that way. There’s that too and it’s wrong. I’m talking about us and how we have these expectational ideas of others. The woman believed her friend was simply having a bad day. Although she couldn’t understand why the friend was angry at her since she only strives to make the other person happy, it is well understood that whatever sort of relationship she has with that friend is largely one sided. I can’t really blame her for thinking the best or wanting to think the best about others, but the excuses that she makes for the friend’s behavior is something I’m familiar with. There’s a part of all of us that can see things as how they truly are. We will see bad friends as bad people. Yet, a different part of us holds on to these unrealistic ideas that our bad friend is somehow a good person and just going through a rough time. I was stuck in that circle for a while. I knew exactly what kind of friend my friend could be because I’ve watched her spend time with others, do things for others, be kind to others, share with others, and then, she spends a total of a few minutes saying hi to me and that’s it. She talks longer if she’s hungry and wants me to cook her food. Yet, knowing that she was a bad friend to me, I kept hoping that if I was nice back, she’d eventually act like a real friend. She never did and I had to finally accept that some people are great friends to others, but really bad friends to us. And even then, I still cried about it, because I knew she was a good person at heart. And that’s exactly the dilemma that this woman was having: her friend was a decently good person with a good heart and they were good friends with others, but the two of them didn’t get along well. Yet, knowing this, she still held on to that false hope that maybe that friend will change and treat her better as I thought my friend would surely see my worth and treat me better too. She didn’t.

We often are afraid to lose people for imagined potentials at what kind of relationship we could have with someone in the future.

I remember a girl from my childhood who hated me, but I wanted to be her friend so badly, that I was super nice to her all of the time. To describe our relationship, it was like Cole off of the movie, The Sixth Sense, and the bully Tommy who pretended to be friends with him in front of his mom. This girl pretended to be my friend in front of her mom. We’d get to school and she’d ditch me for all of her other friends. Her mom thought we were best friends. I thought we were best friends too. I didn’t understand that we weren’t until I was much older. That was a bad relationship. We didn’t physically fight. We didn’t hurt each other. But there was still a lot of misleading things and manipulations and abuse. In the end, we weren’t friends anymore and her mom came to my house and gave me back all the stuff I gave her daughter. The sad thing is, I had nothing to give to the woman as something her daughter gave me out of friendship. Back then, I also wasn’t brave enough to tell her mom what really happened. I still cared too much about what anyone thought of me.

Peer pressure is a huge thing for children. Being liked, making friends, feeling lonely…all of that affects everyone at some stage in their life. We can do without all the books that glorify abuse in relationships and tell us that we need someone else’s approval to be worth something. We’ve already told ourselves that enough as children. We hope for a, “I’m proud of you” from our parents and teachers. We hope for inclusion from our friends. And now we have popular books that tell us that independence is a lie and we need someone else to be complete.

The message in today’s world is that we cannot be strong without someone being weak. That’s the wrong message to send out to anyone, anywhere. I saw a meme today where some out of the closet atheist woman said, “I am happy that men wrote the Bible. That means that women didn’t.”

My reply was: “That’s sexist and quite frankly, a foolish thing to say. It took a man in order to birth that woman. It’s cool for men and women to be treated equally, but all this superiority bs simply needs to stop. She could’ve simply said she was an atheist instead of trying to belittle men to make her self worth as a woman greater. It shows that she has no self worth and that’s sad.

The opening poster said: “Oh BooHoo! You missed the point.”

In which I replied, “So I should acknowledge other people’s stupidity for a supposed point? No thanks. If someone’s going to make a stand for what they believe in, there’s no need to bash anyone else to make you or your religion or whatever you believe in as being better. She will die like the rest of us. Every human being will have the same ending: death, and there’s no escape from that.

So the OP responds with, “Freedom from religion certainly angers some folks, eh?

And the last thing I replied on that topic said, “It’s not about religion. It’s about people. Did I care that she was speaking against the Bible and that she’s atheist? Nope. Don’t twist my words into something you want it to be to better suit your own religious agendas. It’s not your freedom from religion that angers me. It’s my freedom of religion that angers you. That’s sad.

It’s really tiring when a lot of my pagan/atheist/non-christian friends talk about Christianity more than I do, and yet, they want to claim that Christians are the ones shoving our religion in their faces. I can’t tell whether they’re trying to convince everyone not to be a Christian by constantly talking about it, or that they’re trying to convince their selves of how they shouldn’t be a Christian by talking about Christianity all the time. Either way, let it go. It’s obsessive behavior and abusive to yourself. It’s not your freedom from religion that angers me. It’s my freedom of religion that angers you. And that is sad.

It’s late. I’m calling it a night. Stop the abuse and the acceptance of abuse in relationships.

 
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Posted by on February 17, 2015 in Book Reviews, Diary, Movies, Things Worth Fighting For

 

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