Tag Archives: Writing

Perfect Timing

I’m watching 2 Broke Girls and in the last episode of Season One where Max and Caroline attend the gala in hopes of cornering Martha Stewart to try their homemade cupcakes, Max meets Johnny as she’s coming out of the bathroom. He tells her that they’ve gotten far in their careers to be able to attend such a high class event and she responds that they haven’t gotten far at all (in their relationship). She asked why and he said, “timing, I guess”.

It reminds me of how important timing really is, not only when it comes to relationships, but to everything. If we were just a bit early or a bit late for some things in life, our lives could’ve been totally different. And I’m not talking about being early or late by months or years, but merely by hours or days.

Back in high school, I was tricked into meeting a guy named Jay. He was a super skinny tall white goth kid who did indeed live in a creepy house with an energy vortex of some kind (you can feel the energy when you’re there–it was crazy, but real). He had a hot roommate who was Irish and had freckles and red hair…but that’s a different story. Anyhow, Jay was this pretty awesome artist and I was expecting my friend Will to drop me off at home, not take me to someone else’s house.

I met Keera for the first time at Jay’s house. She was tricked by whoever brought her there as well. She thought she was going to the movies. Instead, we both ended up at a house with a bunch of horny teenagers and neither of us cared one bit for them or the hormones. And since neither of us did drive and had cars and could leave, we were forced to stay and meet.

It was by perfect timing that I happened to find Will and reminded him that he promised he’d drop me off at home that day. He was literally about to leave when I found him and if I had been a couple minutes late in getting to him after the bell rang, I would’ve missed out on Jay and Keera and my life would’ve been different. Neither Jay nor Keera attended school where I did (Jay was out of school as he was in his mid twenties) and neither one of them lived anywhere in the city I lived in.

A few minutes late, and I would’ve never had stories that spanned three books about the Otherworld and all those who lived there. I would’ve never had Demonico or any of those characters and all the crazy that came with it.

How much of our lives is purely coincidental? How much of it is actually perfect timing? Timing is indeed everything.

I once worked with a guy who had the coolest name I’ve ever heard of: Zebediah. It’s not a common name. We’d call him Zeb for short. He played baseball and he’d always invite me to his games, but I never wanted to go. He wanted me to see him play, but I wasn’t ready for any relationships. I always turned him down. He was a great guy: funny, smart, old fashioned–perfect…but the timing wasn’t. I honestly can’t imagine what life would be like now if I had said yes back then and just accepted his offer.

Life itself is a series of perfect timing. Everything actually works together, whether for good or bad, to control our lives and move it in a direction that has purpose and meaning.

It’s like hurricane Hugo of ’89 or some time way back in the past when I was still a single digit in age. We had this gigantic tree right next to our house and it was so big and so strong that nothing could move it. That night, it actually crashed into our house and smashed everything. My mom, being scared alone with young kids in a storm while my dad worked 3rd shift, took all of us kids and packed us into the living room where we slept on the floor. We actually survived the gigantic tree crashing into our house and smashing everything into bits. Hugo wasn’t even a bad storm and normally, my mom wouldn’t move us all to the living room, but the tree went right through my baby sister’s crib. If we had all just gone to sleep that night like normal, we would’ve all been dead or in the very least, hurt very badly which would’ve affected the rest of our lives. I would’ve probably never been able to write stories that needed to be told.

I know for a fact that my life is a bunch of hit and misses–anything and everything from good and bad luck, to the people in my life or those who have been in my life, to how I’m even still alive today.

A few minutes sooner, being unbuckled in the back seat of my best friend’s boyfriend’s car and sitting right in the middle with a giant gap that I easily fit through when we hit head on with a car that suddenly made a left turn, I would’ve flew right out that front windshield window had time not literally slowed down enough so I could see what was coming before it happened and brace myself by spreading my arms and legs wide and holding on to the back of their chairs. There wasn’t time to actually put on a seat belt. To be honest, I wasn’t even paying any attention to the front of the car. If time hadn’t literally slowed down, I wouldn’t be here today. And as crazy as that sounded, I actually survived a horrible car crash that put the driver, who had on a seat belt, in a coma for five days. He was hurt that bad. The entire front of the car was totaled. And to make things worse, it was Mother’s Day. Christina’s boyfriend took us shopping to get presents for our moms. I was sixteen.

For some reason, we normally only look at relationships in relation to timing. If I met this person sooner, they would be with me and not someone else. But perfect timing in fact determines every aspect of our lives. Perfect timing determines who we meet, what we do, how we do it, who we affect, who affects us, and basically everything in our lives is measured by a timeline we cannot compute into mathematical equations.

A few minutes later, and I would’ve missed meeting Michael who is the most amazing person I’ve ever known. He adores the hell out of me (literally, although he’s Asatru? I forget.Whatever his religion is, it isn’t Christian) and I adore him right back.

A few minutes later, and Shaun would’ve committed suicide.

Our lives are measured by time. That time, however, isn’t linear. Time isn’t a straight line. It is a messed up web of perfect that I haven’t even begun figuring out yet. Everything in our lives is perfect timing, even when we cannot see the perfection in all the imperfection of things gone wrong and things gone right.

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Posted by on October 29, 2014 in Diary


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Simple Goals I Want To Accomplish With My Life

There are three things I want to do with my life:

1. Write and publish my stories for the world to enjoy
2. Have an art gallery showcasing my artwork
3. Design, make, and sell my own line of clothing

So far, I’m accomplishing one of the three. I’ve published three novels already with a fourth coming soon. There are many novels I am wanting to finish and publish. There is much to share. I am also working on being a better artist although I can’t seem to find a style since my style changes with my mood (which is often). And I’ll work on the last one when I at least get the second one started. I already have designs drawn out. I know what I like and what I design will be what fits me best. I would like to design for others (women) and make clothing that flatter their bodies and is tailored to fit them perfectly. Right now, I have three different concepts I can rework each design to fit: classy, edgy, and glamorous.

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Posted by on July 3, 2014 in Diary


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The Reality of the Matrix and How it Affects the Author

I’ve done more thinking than I wanted to do in the past few days and I’m reminded of the movie, The Matrix. In the Matrix, reality is subjective to each individual, playing a part in a whole that is controlled from beyond the perception of the persons involved. And in a way, reality itself here is pretty similar. We are all subjected to our realities, unaware of the bigger scheme of things that are beyond our scope of understanding.

I’m not a big fan of authority or authoritative figures. Half of my behavioral problems stem from some sort of power play, where I’m being dictated in one way or form. I don’t respond well to authority, especially those that are corrupt in power or those who seek to control me. And upon reflection, there have been many things and people controlling me in the past.

The entire concept of the Matrix is based on control: control of the mind, control of the human being.

Of course there’s the usual suspects: my parents, my family, my friends, etc…but who actually controls a big portion of my life if not me and if not related by blood? God controls the majority of my life and despite a good bit of it being like the Matrix (false free will), I still have to comply. I can always choose to take the blue pill and wake up and that’s the end of the dream, but damn the little red pills which want to keep showing me how deep the rabbit hole goes.

Perhaps my rebellion isn’t really in response to people or authority, but in response to God. Sad, but I can name times where I deliberately disobeyed just to see what would happen and/or deliberately caused an event to test out a “theory”. I actually encountered the occult because of my rebellion. And isn’t it ironic that rebellion is the same as witchcraft? I certainly went from one straight into the other. *frowns*

The concept of the Matrix isn’t new. Not only do we have governmental Big Brother, but the Matrix takes it farther to say that there is something/someone greater than human beings who is controlling our entire reality and existence. And how do we normally respond? Eject ourselves from that control to a reality where we believe we can finally be in control of ourselves and our lives.

Why fight the Matrix?

As Cypher stated, reality in itself isn’t a grand thing. Even if it was all an illusion, the reality of the dream was sufficient because it felt real. True reality was way harsher: they were slaves to machines with holes in their bodies, there was very little food, they were always on the run from the machines they escaped from, everyone lived underground because the sky was scorched with perpetual dark clouds, etc, etc. Something that felt real was a much better alternative to what was real.

But to a writer, everything is real. Fantastic worlds filled with magic and sorcery, terrible worlds filled with barely any food and starving people, horrible worlds filled with viruses and zombies, and every other world that can be imagined. So do we writers have our own little Matrix going on?

I like playing the Sims because in a way, I can create worlds much like our own. In it, I can control situations and things that happen. It’s fun actually, especially when I’m feeling quite destructive. Even without the game, there are many worlds that are alive within the pages of the books that I’ve written, worlds that all desire to be explored and discovered.

Take the world of the Arromanovokzjas in The Turning vampire series for example. Much like our own modern world, theirs is filled with vampires. And magic. Witches. Mermaids (yes, there’s mermaids and it’s in the fourth and upcoming novel, Loose Ends). So imagine a world filled with fantasy creatures just hidden right in our own.

The Otherworld as described in Beyond the Gates: Otherworld is an incredible place filled with odd sorts of creatures, cities and villages much like our own earth, and a river that separates demons from the “more human” (which can’t even be counted as 100% human since there’s so many others that live there) side and a bridge that for one day out of the entire year, is blocked off to the demons. It’s kind of like…a strange fantasy.

The world of Drayden and the Eminentity in Legacy of the Guardians: The Iron Tower Maiden is a post apocalyptic world filled with nothing but sand everywhere and horrific monsters that feed on the last human survivors.

The earth that Ialae and Jacob and Peter finds themselves in in The Thirteen Keys is a post apocalyptic one, except only America was destroyed and with the large amount of Undesireables, the New World Peace Army has been cleaning up the planet and imprisoning the Undesireables to help return the economy back to how it used to be.

Alcone and the Rhiaddon exists in a world much like our own, except thousands of years in the past where archaic magic and sweat lodges and a gate exists that opens up a doorway to hell for them to shove the Damned into.

Are all of these false realities real?

If the Matrix is a false reality that seems to be real, but it isn’t, then are our stories and our writings, our books and our imaginative worlds that we create a Matrix in itself also?

One such as an author can only imagine the despair and sadness of the loss of a character and how that loss will ultimately affect the outcome of the world where that character once inhabited. We control those worlds, for the most part. At times, the characters themselves have their own free will and choose a different path from the ones we destined them to, so when that happens, we rewrite the story according to the change the character made, not according to our original draft of what we wanted to happen. If characters in our own stories have free will and the worlds we created are pretty much the equivalent of the Matrix, are we then, gods?

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Posted by on June 13, 2014 in Diary


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Busy Days Ahead and Nerdvana

I’m managing two websites, four blogs, three Facebook accounts, ten emails, two Twitters, plus I’m trying to work on my fourth novel, finish reading the books on my current reading list, rework on an art project that I’m not happy with the results of, learn Russian, study Biological Sciences, and work all at the same time so I’ll be pretty busy and nearly nonexistent online except for the random checking of messages and emails and babbles.

Who wants to learn Russian with me? ^_^

I will be available from 8pm to 10pm (Eastern Standard Time), every day to learn and study Russian. I don’t have a webcam (my poor Fujitstu t4215 tablet laptop has two mics and no webcam), but, I can Facetime for anyone with IPods, IPads, and IPhones. I would love to have someone to study Russian with! I do know a few people who are Russian and who speak the language, but I want to be able to hold a halfway decent conversation first without mixing gender particles when I do speak to them. No more bad Google translate! *lol*

I’m actually learning languages from here:

It’s a totally free website (the only completely free and awesome website I’ve found through an app to help people learn multiple languages–it’s also available online just the same). There’s no catches, no fine print, none of that kind of mess which gets annoying. Knowledge should be free. So, come learn a language with me! (It’s also where I’m learning Japanese among some other languages I’m interested in. But, I need to focus on one language and fluently speak that before I continue onward. Languages are just so cool that I want to learn them all! ^_^)

I’m a big dork, if no one noticed the crazy penchant for wanting to learn languages. I already watch movies in various other languages (it would be great to not need English subtitles) and I already speak a different language (Hmong), so languages are just another favorite thing to add on to my list of Nerdom (which is not a real word according to Merriam-Webster, but that’s okay–as a writer and an author, I make up my own words! *lol*).

I will not be available for the duration of May 31, 2014 through June 8, 2014 because I will be on vacation in Texas to attend my first ever comic-con! I’m so excited about that! It was a last minute decision, so I’m not dressing up or anything, but I will thoroughly enjoy all the geekiness and take tons of pictures! I don’t know what anime or game or cartoon character(s) I’d like to see first! It’s unnerving because I will be extremely excited and happy to see any of them, so much that I’d probably melt into a puddle of goo on the ground! *lol* Ah, the craziness of days to come! ^_^

So now, I am on a quest to follow my new schedule with attentive OCDness so that I can configure time properly and meet all my goals of doing multiple things all in a very short duration repeatedly. Of course, real life does get in the way–like feeding chickens because I’m pretty much a country/farm girl who is able to kill and gut an animal (very handy for when the zombie apocalypse finally decides to kill us all with some strain of virus and then resurrect us by firing electrical impulses as a waste byproduct of consuming our flesh, which in turn, keeps our synapses alive and triggering our basic impulse of feeding so that the virus can be supplied with fresh meat to consume–or something like that). I’ve got a couple of zombie novels half-written, none of which happens to be the result of a virus although I’m sure there’s some scientific explanation bordering on reality in the whole tangent I threw out a moment ago.

All of that aside, I feel like I’m rushing to accomplish within a matter of months what people take many years and sometimes their whole lives, to accomplish doing. Why do I need to learn several different languages when I’m not going anywhere and I really won’t do anything with that knowledge? Or why am I studying Molecular Biology when I will never do anything that requires knowing the mechanics of life and how it works? Obviously, I’m not going to learn Russian in a month or Virology in that amount of time either given my super busy schedule. But, I choose to try and fit in all the things I love (like writing and reading and art on top of everything else) because I love them. And it makes me happy and excited in a dorky way to be able to spend some time doing the things I love.

So, I am off of here because before I can actually go to bed, I have an entity that needs a bit of a brain washing. And that is an entirely different speech. ^_^

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Posted by on May 6, 2014 in Diary


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Dreams of the Future Coming

These are my dreams of the future coming:

I want to finish writing the many stories I’ve begun and have them published.

I want to have a non-profit organization that teaches children all over the world how to dream and how to reach those dreams.

I want to have a lab where I can find a cure for cancer among other things.

I want way too much for a simple hundred years, a third of it already gone.

For now, I’ll work one thing at a time. Finish writing and in between all of that…I’ll explore this big, big world and discover all its hidden secrets. ^_^

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Posted by on April 30, 2014 in Diary


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