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My Thoughts on Christianity, Homosexuality, and Marriage Equality

This is a conundrum.

I am only speaking from my opinion, my perspective, so anything I say shouldn’t be correlated to any group of people nor should my words be representative of any group of people. This is all just me. With that said, I’ll start.

I’m a Christian. I believe homosexuality is a sin. I support marriage equality for all human beings.

Many people automatically think, “oh, she’s a Christian so she is against gay marriage”. It’s a false misconception. The misconception occurs because Christianity is based on the teachings of the Bible and the Bible clearly states wrong things that we as followers, aren’t supposed to do or aren’t supposed to take part in. It’s a conflict of belief and personal preferences.

How can I be a Christian, believe homosexuality is a sin, and still support gay marriage?

The thing about Christianity is that calling someone a sinner isn’t an insult. It’s an accepted belief that everyone is a sinner. We’ve all done wrong things. It’s normal to be a sinner because no one is perfect. It’s like saying, “you have blood” or “there’s a brain in your head”. Being a sinner isn’t a degrading and insulting thing. Rather, it acknowledges that we’re imperfect beings that need a Savior.

People often forget that homosexuality isn’t the only sexual sin in the Bible. There’s seven, one of which I truly have forgotten by now so I’ll just leave unnamed. Surprisingly, it isn’t masturbation. Masturbation isn’t a sexual sin. There’s adultery, fornication, prostitution, homosexuality, incest, and beastiality. Adultery is sex outside of marriage. Fornication is sex before marriage. Prostitution is sex for money. Homosexuality is sex with the same sex. Incest is sex within the immediate family. And beastiality is sex with animals.

People have often said to me, “how can you be so against love? It says don’t eat shellfish and pigs in the Bible and people do that. How do you just pick and choose what you want when it’s convenient for you?”

The people who ask these questions are often defensive. That means one big thing: they’re not listening to me. Regardless of what I say, all they hear is, “she’s a Christian and a hypocrite and a bigot and against gay marriage.” If I say I’m not against gay marriage, the words totally fly over their heads because they’re not listening. They’re angry and upset and on the defense.

It’s a common misconception to anyone who doesn’t understand the Bible that sexual sins doesn’t equal food regulations. It’s a hard concept for many to grasp because it does state that Jews weren’t allowed to eat shellfish and pigs and fish without scales and things that were named unclean. It was meant to keep them from doing wrong. People around them were eating all these things that they couldn’t eat. If they ate them, then they’d also hang out more with the people around them, get married to the people who lived around them, and eventually, turn away from God by worshiping other gods of the people around them. The laws were in place so the Jewish people could keep themselves separated from the people around them.

In the new Testament, when Paul was recruiting Romans and everyone else not Jewish, it was said that for the people who understood that it isn’t what goes into your body that defiles you (makes you unclean), then they could bless whatever food was put before them and eat. To those who were a bit weaker of faith and who saw that eating such foods might in some way defile them, then for them not to eat. Jesus himself said that it wasn’t what went into our bodies that defiled us because it goes in through our mouths and out the other end and cast away into nothingness. But it’s the things that come from our mouths (words and blessings and curses) that defile us because they come from the heart, for out of the heart comes evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, and blasphemies.

Sexual sins are very different from eating foods. Sex serves for two purposes: procreation and reproduction, and the joining of two into one flesh. We all know about the having babies part, but when two people become one, it’s a very different thing (spiritually speaking). It can be dangerous because people are vessels. Vessels for God and vessels for other things. Spirits can inhabit people and not in the way you see on tv and not by those kinds of possessions. Most people walk around with spirits attached to them and they don’t know it.These spirits can transfer from one person to the next. This occurs by touch. In reference to sexual sins, it’s like spiritually sexually transmitted diseases. You probably don’t know you have it and you’ll probably never show up with any of the symptoms, but you’ve been infested and invaded.

While people often associate homosexuality to being the only sexual sin, they’re very wrong. Adultery, a sexual sin, cannot occur without marriage. I totally support marriage for heterosexual couples. And in a way, that supports the presence of adultery. Without marriage, adultery wouldn’t exist. Marriage in itself is really to stop people from sinning so much. Marriage is a barrier to sexual sins because it allows two people to safely have sex inside a marriage and to have a healthy relationship because of marriage.

I’m a firm believer in marriage equality and equal rights for all people regardless of race, sex, religion, color, sexual orientation, etc, etc. I am also a very stubborn and outspoken person about things I am passionate about. I am a huge supporter of freedom because no one is going to tell me what I can and cannot do and what I can and cannot say. I do not like mass control. Not allowing gays the right to marriage or to tax breaks or to adoptions is a form of controlling the masses. It’s a form of religious control in a world where there is a supposed freedom of religion because people are imposing their beliefs and ideas of marriage upon others. It’s a form of oppression because as human beings, gays should have every right that any other person is allowed. That means freedom from hatred and violence. I also see this a lot with race and color. It’s sad that individuals want to dictate whether a person lives or dies based on their skin color or their ethnicity. No one has the right to take a life, not even their own life, in my opinion.

I’m a firm believer in letting people learn on their own. We all do bad things. Murder. Adulteries. Thefts, Fornications. False Witnesses. Blasphemies. Evil thoughts. Etc, etc. While one wrong may be judged more harshly according to the laws of man, God sees all sins as being the same. Rebellion is the same as witchcraft. Stubborness is equated to iniquity (not doing what God specifically says to do) and also to idolatry (worshiping other gods). Who would’ve ever thought that stubborness was a sin? Well, here it is, a sin. So while we’re sitting here judging homosexuals for their sins and trying to prevent them from equal rights, we ourselves are all at fault of something. No one is preventing us from getting married so why should we feel a right or an entitlement to imposing our beliefs upon others and prevent them from marriage and equal rights? It’s wrong. It’s very hypocritical and unjust.

I try very hard not to judge others for their wrong doings. I am no better than they are. I’m actually much, much worse then any one of them. I’m a firm believer in letting God decide what is right and what is wrong. My human intelligence is limited. I have no omniscience. Good and bad to me are simply words, words that changes meaning with popular culture and whatever is the in thing to do. There are many things that I think is wrong although no one else seems to have a problem with it, and many things I think is right although no one else seems to agree with me on it. Therefore, I leave people in God’s hands. Mine are not capable enough to deal with someone so precious as a life. I would mess it up. I would totally screw it all up and mess it up bad. So for all the things I don’t know and I don’t understand, I let God handle it.

Love isn’t always an easy thing. It’s not always happy and blissful. It’s harsh at times. It’s punishing at other times. It’s suffering many times over. But love is the most beautiful thing there is. It may be difficult at times, but it is encouraging and uplifting and good and hopeful. I do not understand how oppression, corruption, control, and abuse is in any way a form of love, even a form of tough love.It’s not. How can we show love with so much hatred? How can we show love with so much violence? How do we even demand that someone else cannot have the same rights as ourselves? Love isn’t taught through war. Love isn’t taught through hate. Love is compassion and kindness. Love is patience and joy.

I’m tired and I’m off to bed. I wish for world peace. Let’s all be at peace with one another.
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Posted by on April 29, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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Perfect Timing

I’m watching 2 Broke Girls and in the last episode of Season One where Max and Caroline attend the gala in hopes of cornering Martha Stewart to try their homemade cupcakes, Max meets Johnny as she’s coming out of the bathroom. He tells her that they’ve gotten far in their careers to be able to attend such a high class event and she responds that they haven’t gotten far at all (in their relationship). She asked why and he said, “timing, I guess”.

It reminds me of how important timing really is, not only when it comes to relationships, but to everything. If we were just a bit early or a bit late for some things in life, our lives could’ve been totally different. And I’m not talking about being early or late by months or years, but merely by hours or days.

Back in high school, I was tricked into meeting a guy named Jay. He was a super skinny tall white goth kid who did indeed live in a creepy house with an energy vortex of some kind (you can feel the energy when you’re there–it was crazy, but real). He had a hot roommate who was Irish and had freckles and red hair…but that’s a different story. Anyhow, Jay was this pretty awesome artist and I was expecting my friend Will to drop me off at home, not take me to someone else’s house.

I met Keera for the first time at Jay’s house. She was tricked by whoever brought her there as well. She thought she was going to the movies. Instead, we both ended up at a house with a bunch of horny teenagers and neither of us cared one bit for them or the hormones. And since neither of us did drive and had cars and could leave, we were forced to stay and meet.

It was by perfect timing that I happened to find Will and reminded him that he promised he’d drop me off at home that day. He was literally about to leave when I found him and if I had been a couple minutes late in getting to him after the bell rang, I would’ve missed out on Jay and Keera and my life would’ve been different. Neither Jay nor Keera attended school where I did (Jay was out of school as he was in his mid twenties) and neither one of them lived anywhere in the city I lived in.

A few minutes late, and I would’ve never had stories that spanned three books about the Otherworld and all those who lived there. I would’ve never had Demonico or any of those characters and all the crazy that came with it.

How much of our lives is purely coincidental? How much of it is actually perfect timing? Timing is indeed everything.

I once worked with a guy who had the coolest name I’ve ever heard of: Zebediah. It’s not a common name. We’d call him Zeb for short. He played baseball and he’d always invite me to his games, but I never wanted to go. He wanted me to see him play, but I wasn’t ready for any relationships. I always turned him down. He was a great guy: funny, smart, old fashioned–perfect…but the timing wasn’t. I honestly can’t imagine what life would be like now if I had said yes back then and just accepted his offer.

Life itself is a series of perfect timing. Everything actually works together, whether for good or bad, to control our lives and move it in a direction that has purpose and meaning.

It’s like hurricane Hugo of ’89 or some time way back in the past when I was still a single digit in age. We had this gigantic tree right next to our house and it was so big and so strong that nothing could move it. That night, it actually crashed into our house and smashed everything. My mom, being scared alone with young kids in a storm while my dad worked 3rd shift, took all of us kids and packed us into the living room where we slept on the floor. We actually survived the gigantic tree crashing into our house and smashing everything into bits. Hugo wasn’t even a bad storm and normally, my mom wouldn’t move us all to the living room, but the tree went right through my baby sister’s crib. If we had all just gone to sleep that night like normal, we would’ve all been dead or in the very least, hurt very badly which would’ve affected the rest of our lives. I would’ve probably never been able to write stories that needed to be told.

I know for a fact that my life is a bunch of hit and misses–anything and everything from good and bad luck, to the people in my life or those who have been in my life, to how I’m even still alive today.

A few minutes sooner, being unbuckled in the back seat of my best friend’s boyfriend’s car and sitting right in the middle with a giant gap that I easily fit through when we hit head on with a car that suddenly made a left turn, I would’ve flew right out that front windshield window had time not literally slowed down enough so I could see what was coming before it happened and brace myself by spreading my arms and legs wide and holding on to the back of their chairs. There wasn’t time to actually put on a seat belt. To be honest, I wasn’t even paying any attention to the front of the car. If time hadn’t literally slowed down, I wouldn’t be here today. And as crazy as that sounded, I actually survived a horrible car crash that put the driver, who had on a seat belt, in a coma for five days. He was hurt that bad. The entire front of the car was totaled. And to make things worse, it was Mother’s Day. Christina’s boyfriend took us shopping to get presents for our moms. I was sixteen.

For some reason, we normally only look at relationships in relation to timing. If I met this person sooner, they would be with me and not someone else. But perfect timing in fact determines every aspect of our lives. Perfect timing determines who we meet, what we do, how we do it, who we affect, who affects us, and basically everything in our lives is measured by a timeline we cannot compute into mathematical equations.

A few minutes later, and I would’ve missed meeting Michael who is the most amazing person I’ve ever known. He adores the hell out of me (literally, although he’s Asatru? I forget.Whatever his religion is, it isn’t Christian) and I adore him right back.

A few minutes later, and Shaun would’ve committed suicide.

Our lives are measured by time. That time, however, isn’t linear. Time isn’t a straight line. It is a messed up web of perfect that I haven’t even begun figuring out yet. Everything in our lives is perfect timing, even when we cannot see the perfection in all the imperfection of things gone wrong and things gone right.

 
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Posted by on October 29, 2014 in Diary

 

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Disturbia–Not the Movie and Not the Song

What is disturbing to you?

Is it disturbing when a mother kills her own child? (http://motherswhokillchildren.blogspot.com/ and http://thoughtcatalog.com/jim-goad/2014/04/20-moms-who-killed-their-kids/ and http://abcnews.go.com/2020/infamous-cases-moms-allegedly-murder-kids/story?id=10588541)

Is it disturbing when a man attacks another man and eats his face off? (http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/05/29/naked-man-chews-other-guys-face-shot-dead-by-cops/ and http://abcnews.go.com/US/miami-face-eating-attack-lasted-18-agonizing-minutes/story?id=16458696)

Is it disturbing that monster/beast erotica is a popular trend in literature? (http://uproxx.com/gammasquad/2014/01/virginia-wade-bigfoot-porn-amazon/ and http://publishingperspectives.com/2013/10/dinosaur-erotica-seriously-oh-yes-and-it-sells/ and http://jezebel.com/forget-dinosaur-erotica-its-all-about-bigfoot-erotica-1501243455 and http://jezebel.com/women-make-bank-writing-dinosaur-erotica-1440797687 and http://theweek.com/article/index/250692/dinosaur-erotica-exists-heres-what-you-need-to-know)

Is it disturbing that many cultures around the world marry off girls as young as eight or nine years old to men old enough to be their fathers? (http://www.girlsnotbrides.org/about-child-marriage/ and http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2011/06/child-brides/gorney-text and http://www.forwarduk.org.uk/key-issues/child-marriage and http://becauseiamagirl.ca/child-marriage and http://www.pbs.org/now/shows/341/facts.html)

Is it disturbing that 1 out of 6 people (42.6 million with 1.6 million children) live in poverty in the United States and that more than a third of those are children? (http://www.povertyusa.org/ and http://www.nclej.org/poverty-in-the-us.php and http://www.npc.umich.edu/poverty/ and )

Is it disturbing that over half a million people (roughly over 600,000) are homeless on any given night and a third of those are children? (https://www.onecpd.info/resources/documents/ahar-2013-part1.pdf and http://www.studentsagainsthunger.org/page/hhp/overview-homelessness-america and http://nationalhomeless.org/about-homelessness/)

Is it disturbing that 14% of adults in the United States (32 million) can’t read? (http://www.statisticbrain.com/number-of-american-adults-who-cant-read/ and http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/06/illiteracy-rate_n_3880355.html and https://www.dosomething.org/facts/11-facts-about-literacy-america)

Ever wonder if you’re the only one who feels a certain way? Ever wonder if you’re the only one who goes through a certain experience? Ever wonder if you’re alone?

Deep thinking makes my head hurt. So music helps a lot. I found this pretty cool remix of Game of Thrones by MelodySheep on YouTube called The Dragon’s Daughter. It’s interesting. It’ll help with softening the harsh things I’ve been thinking about.

And I swear to you that those who would harm you will die screaming. I am the Dragon’s daughter. You shall have a golden crown men shall tremble to behold. And I swear to you, I am the Dragon’s daughter.

What are monsters?

We usually think of human monsters as terrifying people who did monstrous things. Many names come to mind: John Wayne Gacy, Vlad the Impaler, Albert DeSalvo, Charles Manson, Jack the Ripper, the Marquis de Sade, Ted Bundy, and any number of serial killers. Many people know who the named were, infamous for their deeds while alive. Many people would include the Nazis in that list. But are any of these people really monsters? Ordinary people can do monstrous things.

What does that mean?

It means that human monsters are just like us. We are capable of all the great evil they’ve done. Many will deny that they could ever do such things–but can we really be capable of such horrific things? Yes. Human monsters are not monsters, but human. And we too, are human.

This is probably one of the most difficult posts for me to write, not because of the nature of the post, but because of the great misunderstanding that people will have because they don’t understand. How do you explain to someone that they cannot look at any single human being or at any group and believe that they are less than human no matter what they’ve done? By no means do I condone people going about doing great evil. The point of all of this is to tell everyone that we are all the same. We all have the same temptations. We all have the same thoughts. We all have the same distorted lusts. We are not alone. This post isn’t about being wicked. It is about understanding that we are not alone in our battles. Everyone is fighting the same battle that we are–the battle for our souls.

I’m an author. I write paranormal romance novels. My vampire series has sex, blood, and violence in them. It’s not that surprising to me that there is erotica in every subcategory possibly conceived to mankind. What’s the difference between vampire erotica and dinosaur erotica? What’s the difference between what I write and rape erotica? Or incest erotica? Beast erotica is superbly popular from regular animals to animal hybrids and halfbreeds that resemble humans to mythological creatures like werewolves and vampires to supernatural creatures like ghosts and demons and angels to cryptozoological monsters like bigfoot and aliens (among others).

(I’m fully aware that I’m about to put my foot in my mouth many times before this post is done. I’ll probably just end up confusing people. *frowns*)

How is it any better or more respectable that I write vampire erotica than someone who writes about incestuous relationships in their novels? Technically, vampires are all related by blood–literally. Aren’t they all pretty much related too?

Virginia Wade makes $30k a month on ebook sales writing bigfoot erotica (http://newsfeed.time.com/2014/01/17/how-to-make-money-writing-bigfoot-sex-scenes/). There’s a market for this and things like this–and what does that even mean? It means that we, as humans, have really perverted lusts and we’re really open about it.

I’m really one for saying it since I write erotica, in the sense that there’s plenty of sex in the vampire series (please remember there’s also an incredible plot that is the main focus of the series), and I feel like I’m about to get witch hunted for mentioning that we’re all very blatant with our lack of morals and ethics, but it’s not about the perversion or the lust or how much one particular fetish sells. It’s about us, as human beings, and how far we’ve come to all of this–to accepting it and to advertising and condoning it as if it’s okay. We are compromising ourselves and defending our wickedness by comparison to others which isn’t the point. The point is that we are exactly all the same. We are exactly all the same.

How do we judge other people when we’re exactly the same like them? Human monsters are ordinary people who do monstrous things and we are ordinary people capable of monstrous things. We’re not different. We’re all the same.

Vampire sex isn’t really all that bad since they’re basically humans.

Really? And that makes it okay because they’re kind of human? Have we forgotten that they drink blood and kill? (That’s a made up sentence by me as an example of an excuse. You can take out the word “vampire” and replace it with any number of other things and add any excuse you see fit.)

Do I get off on vampire porn? I get off on porn, period. This is only important because as a species, we as human beings, are preoccupied with our lust for not only sex, but for a multitude of things as long as they’re exciting and new and it feels good.

We get off on people dying. Sad to say, but it’s true. There is no book or movie or game that doesn’t involve anyone not dying. Titanic, awesome James Cameron movie that it is, would not be the same if Jack didn’t die. Almost every Disney movie kills off at least one parent and the bad guy. Disney promotes sex–something I didn’t know until now, even though I’m an avid watcher of Disney movies and cartoons and anime. A good book or movie always has someone that dies. Lots of people dying makes things great instead of simply good. How have we fallen so far that we promote sex and death and violence?

Yet, we can say that our lusts are okay and acceptable while serial killers and rapists and child molestors and terrorists and communists are evil and wicked. How do we even begin to justify ourselves while we condemn everyone else?

I don’t get it. It doesn’t make sense. How do we say it’s okay when we think of something or do something, but it’s wrong when someone else does pretty much the same thing?

But, wait. I’m not going to rape someone or molest a child or torture millions of people or impale people on stakes or any of that stuff. What’s so wrong with me reading vampire erotica and enjoying it?

Wrong is still wrong. It’s not about the amount. It’s the fact that it’s the same kind of wrong as every other wrong we think and know is wrong. There’s no middle ground. Just because the possibility of something like a vampire existing is super slim, that doesn’t make it okay to lust after one. Just because we tell one lie doesn’t make it more okay than if we’ve told hundreds of lies.

This is getting complicated. How do I effectively say what I want to say without losing everyone I’m trying to share this with? Let’s try this a bit differently.

Have you ever experienced something super horrible that made you feel like you were the only person in the world that that happened to? We’ve all been there. You’re not alone.

Have you ever thought of killing anyone? We’ve all thought of it. You’re not alone.

(It’s a quarter past 1am. I’ll finish this tomorrow, I hope. I need to sleep and my head needs to rest.)

Hm…it sounds like I’m telling people it’s okay to go out and do monstrous things. No, it’s not okay. That’s not what I’m saying. But if you’ve ever thought about such things or have had dark thoughts and desires, you’re not alone. So it’s okay to get help. From where is the question. Sighs.

I don’t think there’s any delicate way to tell people that they’re really just awful and that it’s okay that they’re terrible because they’re loved anyway. I’m pretty sure that would just mean that I’ll get slapped in the face a lot by random strangers. Not something I want to happen. And not the best way to tell someone about love, but I guess I don’t have any tact. Or a better word is manipulation. I’m awful at convincing people things. I’m terrible at explaining things. And I’m worse at trying to sell anyone anything.

If you strip away everything we’ve done–whether we think it’s good or bad–you still have a human in the midst of it. A person. An individual. No matter how saintly or corrupt we each are, we’re all still the same at our very core. And it is us, our souls, everything that we are minus the perceived good and bad that is worth saving.

Our generations are corrupted. Our generations are perverted. Our generations are disturbed.

Hell wasn’t made for humans. And although every single one of us deserves to go there–from the perceived worst to the perceived best (because there is none that is good)–we are worth saving. Every person is deserving of hell. It is because of grace that we are saved from hellfire.

The message is getting lost.

When I was young, I used to believe that the fallen angels were going to be saved. If God was good and He loves us and He also created them, why wouldn’t He love them too and save them since He is love? I was wrong. I didn’t understand back then. My understanding was clouded. Yes, God is love, but people often forget that He is also just. And most importantly, that He is not limited by our knowledge and understanding of Him. We want God to be whom and what we want Him to be and it just doesn’t work that way.

There are Christians now who still believe that the fallen angels would be saved. Just as there are Christians now who believe that in the end, every person will be saved–a sort of universal salvation.

Two days and I’m tired of writing. I’ll try it another time when I can get the right words to say what needs to be said.

 

 
3 Comments

Posted by on June 24, 2014 in Diary

 

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